The Road to You
by Muffins Planned
Summary: When Rachel Berry finds a bright plus on a pregnancy test at 18 there are many things to figure out, and adulthood to face. Embarking on a road of uncertainty she has to figure out just how badly she wants, and how badly she doesn't. Post "I Do"/4x14. RachelxBrody & RachelxFinn
1. Pregnant

**The Road to You**

_When Rachel Berry find two bright lines on a pregnancy test at 18 there are many things to figure out, and adulthood to face. Embarking on a road on uncertainty she has to figure out just how badly she wants, and how badly she doesn't. Post "I Do"/4x14_

This is my second story about this because I KNEW it was going to happen. But anyway, the storyline is a little bit different because… drama drama who's the baby dadda? (mama would be so much more fitting)

I will most probably keep this story at a T because I want to keep it at the same level that the show is at. I want to keep it as true to the show as I can, and as true to the characters as possible. I didn't watch most of season 3 so there might be a few mistakes buut…. It turns out okay, anyway.

* * *

**Chapter 1: Pregnant**

Returning to New York after Emma ran away from her own wedding wasn't without any apprehension. With Finn's touch still burning on her skin, and the fear of returning to him, and returning to what they were, she was wondering what the right decision was. Brody's touch, just like Finn's, made her feel so content and at home. While Finn was familiar, Brody made her feel like an adult, like she existed and meant something more to the world. With Finn it was only a small portion of the world available. They were the small town couple who didn't go anywhere. She couldn't give her whole future up for him, again.

With the sadness of realizing that as long as Finn was in Lima they had no future, she got on the plane back to Brody. It was easy with him, and it felt good not having to hide what she had done in Lima from him. There was no judgment, but she was wondering if he understood that it was more than a kiss. She didn't press it further because he'd been completely faithful while she was away. She couldn't tell him that she'd slept with someone else, then.

After a day both Santana and Kurt returned, and they slowly settled back into their routine in the slowly overcrowding apartment. While living with three other people brought down the living expenses, it didn't give much privacy, or provide any opportunity for alone time.

Dance classes were equally challenging, but the ax between Rachel and Ms July was buried in a shallow grave for now. It was easier to glide by, and feel accepted in the space she had created for her at NYADA. Being accepted was only a dream back in Lima where her name was enough to make people snort. Any progress she'd make in New York vanished the moment the plane landed in Ohio. She'd return to her seventeen year old self, and that's what everyone saw her as. In New York she was eighteen, she was an adult, and people looked at her like she was one of them.

Whatever had transpired between her and Finn in Lima would have to wait. If what he said was true, that one day they would end up back together, then that wouldn't be in Lima. That would be somewhere else, where she could live out her dream, and he could find his. Until that moment came she vowed to put it all at the back of her mind, and now just focus on excelling at NYADA.

As March came she felt the tiredness of spring roll over her in waves, in an unprecedented way. It lingered through most moments of the day, and wasn't helped by spending lunches outside, soaking up the vitamin D. It made her feel slouchy and grouchy, and the fact that those two rhymed made her irrationally annoyed. Getting through a dance class with proper posture and concentration was almost impossible, and she ended up with a twisted ankle due to lack of concentration. Ms July reminded her that she could have done worse, and chewed her out for it.

There was something about it that was bugging her, she couldn't put her finger on it, and it wasn't until the second week in March when she started feeling nauseous that she started to figure it out. It was there constantly, like her stomach never wanted to settle down, like a motion sickness. No matter how much ginger, flat coke or plain toast she drank or ate, it stayed. It kept her up, not even her incredible tiredness could overcome it. So while Brody slept next to her, despite her warning that she was coming down with something, she organized her calendar. She was flipping through the pages when she noticed a star at March 2nd, one that she hadn't noticed before when she was looking through it. It was small and discreet, but it held a lot of meaning.

Today was March 8th.

She looked again, and again. Made the calculations in her head, tried to make sure that she had everything right, that she wasn't a week off. But, it all came back the same. She never missed a date.

Cold dread passed through her body, pulling her out of bed quickly. She read somewhere that stress could put off ovulation, and that made your period late. Maybe it was the flying, the stress of going to and from Lima and still keeping up with her school work? Maybe it was the worrying about Finn and Brody?

She slipped on her coat above her pyjamas, and quietly slipped out of the apartment, and hurried down the street for a convenience store. Maybe they would have a test? She had never looked, never had the reason to know. The bell dinged above her head as she stepped inside, and the elderly man behind the counter looked at her with his large bushy eyebrows set in a frown. What did a young girl like her do outside at this hour alone? She could almost hear his unuttered question.

Slipping between the shelves she quickly found the small line of tests. There were four to choose from, in various price ranges. She looked at the name of the cheapest one and then googled it on her phone. She wanted to make sure that whatever she picked was a good test. Google approved of it, so she pulled it off of the shelf and hurried back to the counter. The confused eyes turned bored, maybe masking that he disapproved of a young girl like her buying a test at almost midnight. If only he knew just how complicated the situation was he wouldn't hide it, she thought.

Back in the quiet apartment she hid herself in the bathroom. While the clock on her phone ticked down the minutes she stared at the test on the counter. It could be stress, she thought, trying to convince herself. Before the time was up she picked it up, and there it was, the second line.

Pregnant.

The pounding in her head was deafening, the screaming in her chest as it closed in on her was deafening. But she couldn't move. Reality crashed down on her.

Pregnant.

* * *

When Brody woke up the next morning she was lying next to him wide awake. She hadn't slept much, and the little sleep she had gotten had been filled with nightmares of babies that were screaming. Without questioning her he bought her excuse of being sick today, and hurried off to catch the train to school.

When she was sure that he was out of the apartment and wouldn't be coming back she pulled open the drawer on her night table and picked up the test. It was still positive, no matter how long she stared it was still positive.

Finn or Brody's. She had no idea when she got pregnant. If it was before valentine's day, or after valentine's day, then it was Brody's, but if it was on valentine's day? And wasn't it that you can get pregnant days after having sex?

Not only was she pregnant at 18, she didn't know who the father was. That was enough to get you a spot on one of those over the top talk shows where people ended up throwing punches most of the time. It was also enough to make a bad situation horrible. If she decided to stay pregnant she would have to face her dad's disapproval, she would have to face Finn and Brody who wouldn't be happy with the situation. While both of them were aware of the nature of their relationships, it would take a lot for a person to be able to swallow something like this.

Rachel had no idea how she got through the first half of the day. She just knew that at some point she got out of bed, she burnt her toast for breakfast, and sat on the couch staring at the wall while her laptop she had started turned on stand-by. She had been completely unaware of Santana's presence until she sat down on the couch next to her, snapping her fingers in front of Rachel's eyes.

"Do you need something Santana?" Rachel asked as sweetly as she could. She didn't want to let on what she was thinking about.

"You've been out of it all day, Berry, I think this is the first time in my life someone's managed to be in the same room and not look at me," Santana said, and Rachel could only roll her eyes at that.

"Yeah, I just… I think I'm coming down with something." She choked at her own words, her acting ability seemingly lost. All those lies she's successfully told should have prepared her for this moment, but she was far from prepared for anything like this.

"I know you Rachel, and after 4 years together I know that this isn't normal." She swept her arms over Rachel. She was still in her pajamas, looking like death. "Just tell me what's going on." That was enough for Rachel to break, the concern in Santana's voice was real, and that was just what she wanted and feared; someone to show her that they truly worried about her.

"Rachel…" Santana said as she broke down in tears, sobbing.

"It's too much for me, I can't deal with this… I don't know what to do!" She was freaking out, now that her fears were finally able to be vocalized her thoughts started swarming even more. The shock was starting to be replaced by that fear, and the more the fear took over the more powerless she felt. She had really screwed up this time. This was the worst thing that could have happened now. "I'm pregnant," she chocked out to Santana, who looked as if she was equally paralyzed by shock in that moment.

"What are you going to do?" Santana asked in a soft voice, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind Rachel's ear, hoping to calm her almost hyperventilating friend down a little more.

"I don't know, I don't even know who the dad is!" she confessed. "Finn and I at Schue's wedding… I didn't think, we were being careful, and Brody and I we're…" The tears wouldn't stop.

"Hey, Rachel, that's a worry for a different day, first you've got to figure out what you want to do," Santana said, her bossy voice back. "You have three options."

"And I don't like any of them," Rachel said, desperate for a different solution. "I can't keep it, I can't go to school and have a career that unstable with a baby… it doesn't work like that."

"Do you want to raise it?" Rachel shrugged helplessly. "Do what you want Rachel, the rest will be sorted out." Rachel knew it wasn't that easy, and it was easy for Santana to say, who wasn't pregnant.

"I just have to figure a lot of things out…"

"The first thing is to confirm that you are actually pregnant, I'll call planned parenthood and make an appointment for you, okay?" Rachel nodded tearfully.

"Hey, Santana," she called out as Santana walked away to get her phone. "Thank you for not judging me."

"Don't worry about it, Berry," Santana said, and shrugged it off.

* * *

Two days later she was sitting on blue plastic chairs next to Santana who was reading a pamphlet about birth control with a mockingly surprised expression on her face.

"Did you know that the condom doesn't work 2% of the time when you use it perfectly, but typically it doesn't work 15% of the time?" Santana said, holding the folder open to her so she could read.

"No, but I'll think about that the next time…" she grumbled. The past two days had been nerve-racking for her. Brody had been busy with school work and friends, so hiding it from him had been quite easy.

"Rachel Berry," a woman called behind her. She quickly stood up and put her school bag over her shoulder. She had managed to go to school that morning and not freak out too much. The shock had started to settle and she was able to start thinking about the future, and the place this pregnancy had in it. "I'm going to need you to pee in this cup, the bathroom is right over there, and you're going to slide it into the small door on the wall, and then I'll guide you to an examination room to wait for the results, is that okay?," the woman asked. She wasn't much taller than Rachel, but had the soft curves of a woman who had experienced a lot in life.

"Yeah, sure." Rachel took the cup from the woman.

"You haven't gone to the bathroom in the past two hours, right?" Rachel shook her head, they'd told Santana on the phone that she shouldn't. "Good, I'll be right here by this desk when you're done."

In the examination room Santana stalked along the walls looking at the posters exclaiming things about safe sex, STD statistics, and teen pregnancy rates. She wondered how adult women felt like sitting in a room like this with posters geared at teens, like her. 18 and pregnant, she closed her eyes. Just then there was a knock on the door and a woman in a white coat stepped in.

"Good afternoon, Miss Berry, I'm Dr. Behr," Dr Behr held out her hand for Rachel to shake. It was a steady hand shake, comforting. Perfect handshake to have as a doctor. Dr. Behr then turned to Santana, who told her her name and then Behr looked back at Rachel. "I have the results here, so I'm going to read them for you." She sat down on a chair and pulled up the sheet of paper out of a folder. "The urine test we did was positive, Miss Berry, I'm assuming that this is what you expected, your friend told us on the phone that you already had a positive test."

"Yes." Her voice was tense. She had hoped that the test would turn out negative now, that her other test was faulty.

"Okay, then we're just going to try to find out how far along you are… when was your last period?" Dr Behr picked up a round thing made out of paper that could be slid around.

"January 28th," she said.

"How long are your cycles?"

"29 days, always." Rachel looked over at Santana uncomfortably, but Santana seemed more engrossed in the fine print on a poster about teen pregnancy.

"According to this your estimated due date will be November 5th, and you are 5 weeks and 4 days pregnant," Dr Behr said. "It's going to seem like I'm jumping from topic to topic right now, but I'm wondering if you know how you want to proceed, there are a few options for you to consider."

"I haven't really wrapped my mind around it yet, so I don't know what I want to do…" Rachel trailed off.

"Do you want me to go over your options, and the help we have available?" Rachel nodded. "First we have abortion, given how early you are you can do a surgical or a medical abortion, many chose the surgical because then we can offer pain relief, and it's over quicker, Then there is adoption, I'm going to explain these two options first, okay and then well get to the help for parenting, okay?" Rachel nodded again, not knowing what to say. "We don't deal with adoption here, but we can refer you to an adoption center if you want to, or you can do that on your own, that's your choice."

Santana sat down next to her now on a chair, taking her hand in hers and holding it tightly, as if she could sense her apprehension about the talk of adoption.

"Lastly, there is parenting, and during your pregnancy we can offer prenatal care, if you choose to go here, most women prefer to go to a different place for that, and after your pregnancy we can help you pick out a birth control that can prevent any future unexpected pregnancies." Behr paused for a second. "Do you have any support from friends, family, the dad?"

"I haven't really told anyone yet, but I think they'll be supportive," Rachel said.

"That's important, too many young women go through this with no support from anyone." Behr paused for a few seconds. "Now that I've explained a little bit about what we can offer here, are there any of those options that you feel that you don't want to do, or you feel are a little bit better than the other ones?"

"No, not right now." Rachel felt helpless, she knew she needed to make a decision, but she had no idea.

"Okay, I'm going to give you some pamphlets and I encourage you to think about your options, and get back to us if you have any questions. If you decide to give birth you should contact a physician, or us, for a prenatal appointment and possibly a scan to see exactly how far along you are." Dr Behr turned around to a desk littered with pamphlets and picked out three in different colors, and handed them to Rachel.

"I have a question," Santana said, sitting up straighter in her chair and smiling her sweetest smile. "When you're pregnant, can you dance?"

"It should be okay, if it is something that you did before pregnancy, but you can exhaust yourself much quicker, and too rough work outs should be avoided," Behr said.

"So that shouldn't be an obstacle in staying pregnant?" Santana asked.

"No, it shouldn't."

"Thank you Dr. Behr," Santana said. Rachel nodded a shy thank you as well.

"Okay, so Miss Berry, do you have any questions for me?" Rachel tried to think of something, her head was swarming with so many questions, but none of them were a question Behr could answer her.

"No," she said.

"Okay, then I'll say good bye to you, and just call us if you have any questions."

On the way back to the apartment she sat next to Santana on the train listening to music. Usually she would find music that would mimic her mood, make the moments a bit more dramatic, as if she were in a movie. This situation was dramatic enough on its own, and she couldn't stand music that emphasized that feeling, so instead she picked an upbeat play list that would otherwise be for a day of confidence. Santana sat next to her listening to music as well, trying to quiet her nosiness so that she wouldn't bombard Rachel with all the questions she had about everything.

"Santana… can you do me a favor tonight?" Rachel asked when they had returned into the apartment and were hanging up their coats. "Can you and Kurt go out tonight, so I can tell Brody by myself?"

"Tell Brody what?" Kurt asked from behind, causing Rachel to jump in fear.

"I thought you were at school," she said under her breath, hurrying into the kitchen to pour herself a glass of water.

"Class was canceled, what are you going to tell Brody?" he pressed. Rachel gave Santana a pointed look, panicking. Could she tell Kurt?

"I think you should tell him," Santana said with a shrug, and fell back on the couch.

"Tell me what?" Kurt was growing impatient.

"I'm pregnant," she got out, and then into her bedroom with the glass of water, throwing her bag on the bed.

"Oh my god Rachel, what were you thinking, pregnant?" Kurt yelled, following her into her room. "You and Brody are not even in a relationship, you're just… I don't know what you are but how can you be so careless? You fought so hard to get into NYADA, how could you just screw it up like that? You're going to ruin everything, Rachel, every dream you've had is going to be ruined!" His face was red in anger, and she felt the tears pressing at the back of eyes again.

"Do you think I wanted this, huh?" She wiped away a tear. "I don't want to be 18, still in college, and pregnant! My dads still pays my bills, damnit! I don't want this, don't you get that?" She screamed the last bit at him, and when she finished he just stared at her, the sympathy overcoming his anger. "Don't look at me like that, Kurt, please don't look at me like that."

"Rachel, you've really screwed up this time," he said.

"Yeah, and that's just the beginning of it…" She didn't want him to know that Finn could be the father, either. He'd probably run and tell Finn then. "You can't tell anyone, Kurt."

"I won't, I promise," he said, holding his hands up. "We'll be out of the apartment soon."

Ten minutes after Kurt and Santana had left to go to a coffee shop down the block Brody got back. He was still in his workout clothes, and it looked like he'd run the last few blocks home. She could smell the stench of his sweat and was reminded of yet another pregnancy symptom that she hadn't noticed she had until now. A heightened sense of smell.

"Hey, you home alone?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowed as he looked around. She nodded. "I think that's a first for a long time." He looked at her suggestively. "Maybe we should take advantage of it?" He ran up to her and sat down next to her on the couch, reaching over to kiss her but she bowed away. She was sure that unless he got a shower now she would throw up.

"Can you take a shower first, I want to talk to you about something." He leaned back and furrowed his eyebrows again.

"Sure."

Brody's shower was probably the quickest one he's ever had, he was too anxious to get back and hear what Rachel had to say. His biggest fear was the she was kicking him out, because he needed more than a day's notice for that. She looked very apprehensive when she looked at him sitting down, which didn't do much for the elephants in his stomach.

"So… what is it that you wanted to talk about?" She nibbled her lip, still trying to figure out the best way to tell him, but couldn't find anyone that was good enough, and wasn't about running away.

"I'm pregnant," she settled with. Brody blinked a few times, trying to get whatever she said to sink in, but his brain stuck.

"I'm sorry what?"

"I'm pregnant, Brody," she said softly. He exhaled roughly, rubbing his jaw, and then his face. "I'm almost six weeks."

"Are you sure?" His voice was shaking.

"Yeah, I went to planned parenthood today, they confirmed it."

"Shit," he muttered. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know, I've been trying to figure it out all day but every choice just seems… wrong to me, I don't know what to do." She buried her face in her hands. She knew this was the best time to confess. "This… it was conceived around valentines day, so Finn might be the… too." She couldn't say it, it was like a knife to her heart every time she thought about it.

"So I might be becoming a dad, and I might not?" His eyes narrowed. She nodded. "Are you going to keep it?"

"I don't know, I've been trying to figure it out, and I have no clue what I want to do." She stood up and started pacing the room. "If I keep the baby it'll be incredibly hard to stay at NYADA, I wouldn't be able to take all credits next semester, so I'll be a semester behind everyone else, and how can I work on Broadway when I have a toddler to take care of? But adoption, if I put the child up for adoption then I'll still be a semester behind, but this kid will grow up like me and always wonder where its mother is, and why I didn't want it, and I'll have to give it up, a part of me, again! And abortion… it seems like the only good alternative." She bit back her tears, but her voice was thick with them.

"What if I told you to get an abortion, what do you feel then?" He was hoping for relief.

"I get angry, because it's not what I want, but it's what I should want." The tears started streaming down her face.

He didn't have anything else to say, he knew that she had made the decision to not have an abortion then, and he'd learnt from his dad a long time ago that when it comes to this; it's not your choice. He should have guessed at some point it would come to this, that something would happen. Twenty-two was, at least, far better than eighteen.

"You should tell your dads, and Finn," he said, standing up from the couch and walking into their bedroom. He needed to be alone. Chances were that it was his kid growing inside of her. With Finn there had only been one night, they had been together several times. Far too many times.

* * *

It had been a week, and she'd set up a prenatal appointment for the following week. She was nervous about the ultrasound they said that they would do. If she measured ahead, that would mean that Brody was most definitely the father, but if she measured behind then there was no telling who the father could be.

Santana, Kurt and Brody were all onboard on her decision to stay pregnant, though Brody made it clear that he wasn't intending to raise a kid that wasn't his own. While Rachel was sad that this pregnancy could mean the end of them, she definitely understood. She wasn't sure either if she wanted to stay with him if it turned out to be Finn's.

Had this happened a year ago, after finding out she wasn't getting into NYADA she would have found this as another path in life to take. There wouldn't have been as much apprehension, and she might have settled as a small town girl who didn't really go anywhere. But now she had that chance, and she knew that this would mean that she would have to work even harder than the rest of her peers. She was, however, certain of that failure wasn't an option.

She had decided to travel back to Lima over the weekend, it had been almost exactly a month since she was there last and done what she now felt was a mistake. If they hadn't done it she might not have been pregnant now. It would give her the chance to tell her dad and Finn. Maybe even stop by Glee club to say hi, but she doubted it with her nervous belly. Her morning sickness definitely did not live up to the first portion of the name, but definitely lived up to the second. She felt sick all of the time, and she'd thrown up so many times she felt like Brody would never look at her the same way again.

Her dads were surprised by her impromptu visit, but wasn't surprised that she did it because she had something to tell them. They knew it wasn't something positive like her being apart of the winter show case, or winning something. The pale look on Rachel's face had them fearing it was an illness, terminal, so they were a bit relieved when they heard that she was pregnant. She knew she needed their support to be able to stay in New York and at NYADA. Luckily, since being their only child and the fact that they had always been supportive of her talent, they agreed to continue support her, and her baby if she chose to raise it. They would keep her under their insurance plan, and pay for everything, as long as she looked for a part time job to help out.

It felt good that her parents knew. It felt less lonely, less secretive. It was still very early on in the pregnancy and people said you shouldn't tell anyone, but there were still so many people that needed to know early on.

She waited until Sunday morning to call Finn, putting it off until the last second. Of course he had already known she was in Lima, somehow he had found out that she was there. He agreed to meet up with her at the Lima Bean. Sunday mornings were the quietest times, and they could be sure that they would have as much privacy as they could need.

She was first to arrive, and picked a seat furthest into the shop, away from prying eyes and ears after she ordered a steaming cup of hot cocoa. While her googling had ensured her that a cup of coffee a day wouldn't cause any harm, she didn't want to risk anything by being too generous. She'd also done enough googling to know that if she would give this child up for adoption people preferred a completely healthy baby. So she took her prenatal vitamins and did everything as they said, hoping that things would turn out alright then.

When he arrived the nerves felt like explosions in her stomach, and she almost ran into the bathroom because the nausea that followed almost toppled her over. She waved when he started to look for her, and with a purposefulness he walked towards her with a smile on his face.

"I knew you'd come see me," he said. He went in for a kiss but she dodged that.

"I'm not here for that," she said. It occurred to her then that this would be the second time he would hear from a girl that the girl he'd been with was pregnant. Only back then he wasn't too smart, and actually weren't, and this time he actually might be.

"Oh, okay," he said, sitting down opposite her. "I'm sorry if this sounds rude, but why are you here then?"

"Are you going to order something first?" she asked, stalling. He looked over at the counter and saw the high school kid almost falling asleep at the counter. Most probably hung over.

"No, I'm good," he said with a smile and a shrug.

"You know Valentine's day we… hooked up," she said, deciding to throw herself into what she was there to tell him, before he got any more ideas. He nodded in agreement. "The condom may have failed."

"What are you saying?" His eyes flickered, denial and panic evident on his face.

"I'm pregnant, 7 weeks on Tuesday." His face turned pale. "It might not be yours, it could be Brody's… I don't know." She buried her face in her hands. "I'm going to have an ultrasound on Friday, and if they say that I'm measuring bigger, or a bit smaller… it most likely isn't yours, Finn, but right now it falls just around when I just don't know."

"What are you going to do?" She watched his wide eyes, and she knew he was thinking about how he could support a child.

"Right now? I don't know, adoption or parenting… I'm going to give it a little time to figure it out."

"If it's my kid, I want to raise it, I don't care…" he said, shaking his head.

"Finn…"

"No, I'm not going to have my kid out there and not knowing where he or she is, that's not going to happen." He rubbed his thighs. "That's not going to happen," he said, looking straight at her.

"Okay, but I haven't decided yet."

"Well, let me know okay? I have to go." He stood up, and looked down at her. Her mouth was open in shock, and there was a small hint of wetness in her eyes. "Bye Rachel." He waved, and then hurried out of the coffee shop.

If it was Brody's adoption may be a possibility, but if it's Finn's it's not. How could she plan for an adoption before she knew? Did Finn just make a huge life decision for her?

The nausea grew quickly, and she bolted into the back for the toilet.

No matter what, this baby was coming into this world at some point, and she needed a plan.

* * *

**AN: **Next update will be when I've written it. Can be tomorrow, can be next week sometime. Hope you enjoyed the story


	2. Ultrasound

**IMPORTANT NOTE:** I have to apologize about an error in last chapter. I made the mistake thinking Brody was a senior when he was a sophmore or junior, Glee wikia can't seem to decide.. So I'm going with junior. He's only 20, not 22. I'm going to fix that later on, but now on he's 20.

I'm wondering how Glee will play out this, if they'll do it as a scare or not. From Rachel's reaction/how Lea played Rachel looking at the test, it seemed positive. And because Rachel's crying in the preview… If it's a false positive I'll probably give up Glee because that would be one of the biggest storyline fails in history. Do you know how RARE that is? Ugh. It will be interesting to see what Rachel will chose on the show, or if she'll have a miscarriage.

The writers have dug a hole for themselves, and I hope they have something to fill it with.

Thanks for the reviews, follows, and favorites for last chapter! LOVE IT :)

* * *

**Chapter 2: Ultrasound**

She had been a nervous wreck all day.

The alarm clock had blared her and Brody awake at 7am, and they'd bumped with Kurt in the bathroom to get ready in time for school. Rachel did her obligatory gagging at the tooth paste, swallowed her prenatal vitamins, and nibbled at her breakfast. For the rest of the day to go well she had to start here, if she started the day throwing up she jinxed it. The whole day would be spent in the bathroom.

"Ready?" she asked Kurt and Brody. Kurt patted his pockets and then nodded.

"When are you going to tell Ms Tibideaux?" Kurt asked on the overcrowded train. They stood packed like sardines in the morning rush, and he was constantly bumping his head into someone's elbow.

"I think I'm going to wait to tell her, until the second trimester," she said with a shrug, carefully looking around her to make sure no one was eavesdropping. From the inquisitive look she got from a stranger by the door she suspected quite a few were eavesdropping, some maybe unwillingly so. "In May."

"And you're going to take the next semester off?" he continued to question her. She looked over her shoulder at Brody who was listening to music on his iPod.

"I don't know, it depends on what I decide," she said, she could sense the swarm of thoughts invading her head again. "Can we talk about something else?" she begged him. "I have an interview tomorrow."

"Oh, where?" Kurt's ears piqued, his face lighting up in excitement and she couldn't help herself getting caught up in it, too.

"Dance teacher, for little kids in Brooklynn. Miss July would probably hate it if she knew." She giggled. It was a three hours a week job on weekends for 4-5 year olds, mostly girls. She remembered when she started dancing at 4, she had been so excited to learn a performing art.

"She would," Kurt agreed with a laugh. Brody looked at the two of them confused, not understanding what they were laughing about.

Most of the day was spent trying not to worry about her upcoming prenatal appointment that afternoon. Her dads had looked up the best doctor in New York, but she told them to try to keep it local, so that she wouldn't have to travel too far to see one. They managed to compromise and she was going to one in Brooklyn. It was on the way back home from NYADA.

She only had three classes, and the last one was with Miss July, and not something a nauseous, tired, anxious, and irritated Rachel Berry wanted to face. It was better to face than to avoid and face wrath later, though. She put on her dance clothes and jazz shoes, making sure that they felt soft enough, and headed towards the class.

Miss July was talking to someone by the mirrors, so she carefully walked into the classroom so she wouldn't notice her. She put her things by the window and watched the others in class with uncertainty.

"Okay, class, warm up. Start diagonally doing, pas de bourrèe one eights, then kick ball change, then two pirouettes, repeat! Remember big steps, I don't want you bumping into each other, okay?"

Rachel got into a line and followed everyone carefully. She made sure she took big steps forward, kept her posture and concentration. It was important not to slip into any dangerous thoughts, because if she did it would quickly crumble down.

"Berry, keep your head up, and spot!" July shouted from the corner of the room. Rachel held her head up a bit higher and kept her eyes trained at the wall during the next pirouette. Miss July didn't have a comment so she had to assume that she did better this time around.

After a few minutes where everyone got to do it a few times they went through a few more technical moves, before going onto a small dance routine they had started in class. The intention was that a few select people in the group would be picked to be apart of the spring performance, and this small dance was a way to convince July to pick them. As a sort of audition. Rachel was pretty confident that she wouldn't be picked, but still knew that July had the power to fail her if she didn't try her hardest.

Halfway though Rachel could feel the lack of food she had eaten that day, due to her nausea, and her pregnancy exhausting her quicker. She leaned on the back wall trying to catch her breath, knowing that only two months ago she would have never exhausted so easily.

"Who said you could rest, Berry?" July barked from the other side of the room, stalking up to her.

"I'm sorry, miss July, I'm just not feeling that well…" she said. She knew she couldn't tell her she was pregnant, not yet, but she couldn't tell her she was sick either, because this was something that would last the rest of the semester.

"If you're not feeling well, why are you here?" She put her hands on her hips, staring down at Rachel. "Did I not make myself clear a few weeks ago, I do not want you here putting yourself at risk, if you aren't good enough to dance you shouldn't be here."

"I'm not," Rachel started to say.

"Leave now, class is over for you," July said, finality in her tone. Rachel only sighed, picked up her things and left.

She knew she would have to tell Miss July, there was no other way. She couldn't keep herself out of dance class for the rest of the semester. If she didn't go now, she definitely wouldn't be able to go the next semester, and what if she didn't recover from birth in time for next spring? She could barely keep the tears at bay while she showered.

When she had dried her hair, redressed and put her makeup on again the girls in her dance class came into the changing room. They gave her sympathetic smiles.

"I'm sorry miss July was on you like that," a girl said. "She's a raging bitch sometimes."

"She didn't even allow you to explain yourself," another girl said with an eye roll. "I'm so happy she isn't after me, I'd crack under that pressure."

"I'm only anemic," Rachel said, having come up with the perfect excuse to explain her current wellbeing. It would be enough for her peers to be content with, but she was unsure if July would feel the same. And she was sure that once July found out it wasn't anemia she would be even more pissed at her.

Grabbing the bull by the horns she headed back to the room where her dance class had been held before. It was empty, apart from July, the next class wouldn't start until three hours later. She was stretching by the racks, oblivious to Rachel who had just entered the room.

"Miss July," she called out, causing July to halt her movements, and look at Rachel disapprovingly.  
"I thought I kicked you out," she said, picking up her water bottle and taking a sip.

"I wanted to talk to you in private, about what happened…" Rachel felt herself reverting back to her high school self in July's presence, the blush spreading furiously on her cheeks.

"You've got five minutes," July returned to the rack, putting her feet up on the highest one and bending over. "Talk."

"I'm pregnant." She said it quickly. She figured that she'd said it enough times now that it should have lost its meaning, but as soon as it left her mouth nausea settled deeper in her stomach, only this wasn't morning sickness. This was her own disappointment.

Once again July halted her movements. She put her foot down on the ground, hands on her hips, and a menacing glint in her eyes.

"What did you say?" Her voice was tethering on the edge of threatening. Rachel took a deep breath.

"I'm 7 weeks, it's very early, I… I," she stuttered.

"Oh my god," July threw her head back in exasperation, rubbing her eyes dramatically. "You are even more stupid than I thought." Rachel frowned at her exclamation. Though she knew that July wouldn't take it as well as everyone else, she was the first to berate her like this. Kurt reminded her of her future, out of love. July genuinely believed she was stupid.

"Sex crazed teenagers, 18 year olds who think they're old enough to be parents." July looked at her and scoffed. "Are you going to strut around on Broadway with a baby in your arms, you think that's going to work?"

"With all due respect miss July, but what I decide to do in my life is up to me," Rachel said, annoyed with July's condescending attitude. She picked up her bag to leave, when July's voice stopped her.

"And I'm your teacher here, and I'm supposed to teach you how to survive on Broadway, and this isn't it," July said.

"I'm sorry you feel that way," Rachel said, and hurried out of the class room leaving an exasperated July behind.

* * *

The waiting room was almost empty. Most of the green chairs with an itchy cover on them were unoccupied. Only Rachel, Brody and a hugely pregnant woman sitting with a man were in the room. Rachel tried to discreetly look at her stomach, it was big and round, poking out of a maxi dress with big patterns and with many different colors. She looked down at her own clothes; a mini dress barely reaching her mid thighs, and a completely flat stomach. It was even flatter than before she got pregnant due to the weight loss from morning sickness.

Brody glanced at the clock and let out an irritated sigh. The doctor was late. Rachel reached out to take his hand, squeezing it reassuringly. If it turned out she was further along today, or much earlier in her pregnancy, there would be little doubt that he was the father. She understood that he was nervous, this ultrasound could be a definitely or a maybe for him.

"Miss Berry," a woman called out from the door frame of a room. She followed the woman into the room. The woman was dressed casually, but she could see the white robe hanging on the back of a chair.

"Hello, Miss Berry, I'm Dr Edith Haussmann," she said, shaking Rachel's hand.

"Call me Rachel, " she said, and then turned to Brody. "This is Brody Weston."

"Ah, you must be the expectant father?" Dr Haussmann said with a smile.

"Maybe," Brody said. They'd agreed to be honest with the doctor about their situation, so that they would be able to get the best possible care.

"It might be his, or my ex's… it's very complicated," Rachel explained. Haussmann only smiled and nodded.

"Believe me when I say this isn't the first time I've encountered this problem, so don't you worry about that for now," she reassured them. "Now, Rachel, please take a seat on the exam table over there and I'm going to ask you a few questions to get a good background information."

She asked a few questions about her and Brody's medical history, and what she knew of Finn's medical history. She admitted that she was adopted so she didn't know much, but Brody had a much better idea of his own family's medical history. After checking off a few other questions about life style, and making a note that Rachel had a very active lifestyle at the moment, she gave a blood sample to test for blood diseases, and then she was instructed to pee in a cup and strip from waist down for a gynecologic examination.

That part made Rachel uncomfortable, but Brody stayed by her head, and Haussmann put a sheet across her legs to cover her up.

"I'm going to do an ultrasound now, it will be a transvaginal one, and I will use this want here, and I'll put a condom on it, and lubricate it, and it will give you a better picture than if we were to try to do a normal one, are you okay with that?" Haussmann asked. She was holding a phallic shaped wand that was attached with a cord to an ultrasound machine. Rachel nodded, but was a bit nervous.

She grabbed Brody's hand tightly as she expected the wand.

After a few moments of moving it around in small steps Rachel could see a black cavity that was her uterus, and inside it a white-blue shape that looked almost as a teddy-bear she had when she was a child.

"There it is, can you see the heartbeat?" Haussmann pointed to a flickering within the chest of the fetus. Rachel was too in awe to be able to get anything out, not even a nod. "It looks good to me, so I'm just going to measure it and that will give you a more exact due date."

"The fetus measures 6 weeks and 6 days, which gives you the due date November 9th," she said, typing in a few things on the ultrasound.

"When was it conceived then?" Brody asked, nervously.

"The gestational age is five weeks, which would mean around valentine's day." Both of their hearts sank. This meant that they still didn't know. "I take it that's not what you wanted to hear?"

"It's around… where we don't know," Rachel said.

"What you can do is set up for a DNA test to be taken directly when the child is born, the wait will probably feel intolerable at times, but I wouldn't advise you to do a prenatal one, due to the risks, there are no benefits to it, since neither of you, nor the other potential father, has any cause for worry about a genetic abnormality."

"Okay," Rachel said, exhaling. This visit didn't give her a definite answer, like she was hoping for. It wasn't that she didn't want Finn to be the father, she just wanted to know. It would be easier if Brody were the dad, because he lived in New York, but she had a history with Finn that she didn't have with Brody.

* * *

Kurt was the most fascinated by the sonogram picture. He snatched it out of Rachel's hand as soon as she picked it up to show him, and sat down on the couch to inspect it for half an hour. Then he read out the measurements of the baby, half an inch, and tried to see the real size with his fingers.

"This kid is tiny," he said.

"Yeah, soon it won't be that tiny anymore." Rachel didn't feel as confident as she did before. While this certainly made her confident in her decision to remain pregnant, it didn't do much to help her confidence in wanting to raise the kid. It was an actual growing being inside of her that would come out as a baby, needing things.

"Gimme, I want to take a picture of it," she said, taking it out of Kurt's hand and trying to get a good picture of it on her phone. "Thank you, do you want to look at it more?"

"Yeah, this is fascinating." Santana sat down next to him an frowned at the image.

"I don't see anything," she said, shaking her head.

While Kurt explained the image to Santana she went over to Brody, who was sitting at the kitchen table looking overwhelmed. He had another image, almost identical to the one Kurt had.

"You're quiet," she said. He looked up at her, startled.

"Yeah, sorry, I'm just thinking…" He turned the image over to look at her. "I'm trying to make sense of it, trying to remember if we forgot the condom sometime, or if it broke, but I can't remember it." She rubbed his back.

"I can't remember it either. It must've been a small hole that we didn't notice." She looked down at the picture. "I'm not going to force you to do anything, so if this baby turns out to be yours I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want."

"I take it adoption is out of the question?" he asked.

"Yeah. Finn wouldn't allow it if it's his, and going through that process and then finding out that it is his? I would break that family, I couldn't put anyone through it." She wouldn't know what it was like to wait for a child so desperately, wanting it so bad and then come so close to have it taken away. And she wasn't sure that she wouldn't regret it once she gave birth, anyway.

"So Finn is making that decision for you?" He seemed angry about that, and she agreed with that anger. She wasn't happy with him either. But she understood him, and it wasn't an easy situation.

"What would you do, if you were in his shoes? He doesn't like adoption." She took Brody's hand and kissed it. "He doesn't mean it like this, he just wants to be there for his kid, be a good father, Finn's a good person. He just… he doesn't always think." She kissed him on the lips. "Please don't be mad at him." He grunted.

She left Brody at the table, and shut herself into her room, curling up on the bed with the sonogram picture up on her phone. After debating with herself for a little while she sent it to Finn.

Had an ultrasound today. 7 weeks, due November 9th - Berry  
Thanks, whos the dad? - Finn.  
Too early to tell - Berry

She didn't know how to talk to him. She wanted to know how he felt, if he was angry or what was happening in his life. But he shut her out.

* * *

The sonogram picture was innocent enough, but it was real. In that was someone who could be his son or daughter. He might be heading for a huge responsibility, or nothing at all. Finn had no idea what to do with it. How do you prepare for so long for the fact that you might be a dad? When do you buy things, when do you start saving?

He'd returned to the auto shop again, helping out Hummel with it. It provided an income that being a Glee coach didn't. He'd still worked here when he wasn't in school, but now he was rarely at Mickinley, only sometimes when Will called did he step in.

This time it was Finn that called him. They were sitting on the red chairs in the choir room, neither of them talking, but Will anticipating something big.

"You know a few years ago when I thought Quinn was pregnant with my kid, and I went to you for advice?" Finn asked.

"Yes, you were in big need back then," Will said smiling. Though the memory wasn't one of a good time, it was a time he was glad was in the past.

"Rachel's pregnant now, and I might actually be the dad, either me or this Brody guy…" Will looked at him confused. "They're living together, but are in this open relationship, I don't know, but after the reception we hooked up, and now she's pregnant." He stopped and let out a gush of air from his lungs. "I don't know what to do."

"What is she going to do?" Will's eyebrows knitted together, and reached over to put a reassuring hand on Finn's elbow.

"She's keeping it, I didn't think she would because she's always talking about all these plans but… she is."

"I don't know what to tell you, Finn, I wish I had some advice to give but there are situations where there is nothing you can do but wait."

Wait wasn't what Finn wanted, but it was the only thing that could be done.

* * *

Rachel preferred New York spring to New York winter. It was hard for her to believe that 2 years previously she had been here, when she decided that New York was where she was going to college, when Finn and her got back together again. It felt like so long ago. Then she had said nothing would get in her way of succeeding on Broadway.

Then she hadn't been expecting that mid May 2013 she would wake up with a small bump growing between her hipbones, and a baby growing in her belly. Both Rachel and Kurt agreed that it was a scary coincidence that the day she had her meeting with Ms Tibideaux was the day her pregnancy was going to stop being hid. 15 weeks, far too far along to keep it from the Dean any longer.

The meeting was before class, at 9am, and she had to go alone. Brody had a final and Kurt had to study for his finals. She was left in the small waiting room, she felt like she had waited in far too many waiting rooms lately, the last time only a week before at her second prenatal appointment. In three weeks she would return for the anatomy scan.

While her morning sickness had passed the elephants stomping around in her belly threatened to wake it up again. A part of her wanted to bolt, rather drop out. Ms Tibideaux had given her so much and she'd screwed it up. How could she know Ms Tibideaux wouldn't just kick her out after finding out?

Just as her nerves started to get the better of her, the Dean opened the door. She stood there in the door way watching Rachel expectantly. She didn't say anything, but Rachel stood up and walked into the room.

"Ms Berry, this is the first time you're in my office, right?" she asked, her eyebrows raised. "Have a seat."

"Yes, I haven't had a reason to visit you before." Rachel smiled nervously.

"The year is almost over, why visit now?" Tibideaux smile was warm, but Rachel twisted uncomfortable in her chair.

"I, uh…" For Rachel this was the worst, telling her Dean was worse than telling Brody, or Finn, or even her dad. She'd tell July again if she could get away from this. "I might have to adapt my schedule the coming two semesters."

"Have you gotten a role in a play, at NYADA we are more than happy to accommodate our student's hectic schedules." Rachel closed her eyes, trying to will the words to form in her mouth before Tibideaux continued on her train of thought.

"No, I haven't gotten a role," Rachel said. "It's more complicated, messier, than that… I'm, this was really unexpected and it wasn't planned, and I'm still going to do my best but what I'm trying to say is that I'm pregnant, and I'm due in early November."

"I see," Tibideaux leaned back in her chair and looked at Rachel through the glasses that were hanging low on her nose. "This isn't a situation I encounter often." Tibideaux tapped her desk. "You are very talented, Miss Berry, I have to say that, but NYADA demands the absolute best from everyone, and I have to know that you're still going to do your very best, when you're also trying to be a mom  
"Most of us give up our dreams of motherhood to become stars, because we want to give it all, mothers have different priorities, and I hope you understand that Miss Berry. I'm going to try to work around your situation the best that I can because of your talent, but then you need to prove it to me that you deserve that."

"I promise that I'll do it, I'll stop at nothing," Rachel assured her.

"Good, I suggest you take a few summer classes to keep up with the rest of your peers, there are still a few you can sign up for."

* * *

Finals were over, and she, Kurt and Santana flew back to Ohio to see the rest of the Glee club members from their years graduate. It was a bittersweet moment to realize that a year had already passed since high school was over, and it went by so fast. A blink later and she was the one standing in the crowd, 18 weeks pregnant next to Quinn, Santana, Kurt, Puck, Mercedes and Finn cheering on as the rest of them graduated.

Of course Quinn was disapproving of Rachel's belly, claiming that Rachel was self-sabotaging on purpose. But Rachel ignored her, and rather focused on Mercedes and Brittany who rubbed her belly and fished for kicks. They didn't care that not even Rachel had felt any yet. Brody stayed behind because he didn't want to meet Finn, which bugged Rachel a little bit, but she had too understand. Even though she didn't at all.

Finn seemed distant with her, either he was touching her belly, or he was standing on the other side of the room ignoring her. After a few hours of this at a small party that Will threw for all the Glee kids after the graduation ceremony, she pulled him aside to ask him what his problem was.

"What are you doing, why are you ignoring me?" she whispered, so that no one would overhear them.

"I'm not ignoring you," he denied, frowning.

"Yes, you are." She was impatient with him. She didn't have time for this anymore. She didn't have time for the potential father of her child to be sulking and refusing to talk to her for some reason. "Tell me what's going on."

"I don't know what's going on, and that's the thing. I have no idea what's going on because you're not talking to me," he said.

"What do you want to talk about then, I don't want to be the annoying ex girlfriend, or ex fiancée, who is constantly texting you, I'm trying to give you space." It wasn't an easy line to walk on for an 18 year old girl.

"Tell me how you're feeling, what you're doing, something fun that has happened, we don't even know each other anymore, and we might be having a baby together, and I don't think that's okay." His arms waved as he spoke, and she felt guilty.

"I'm sorry that I've been ignoring you, I'm just… I'm scared of you, because I don't know how to deal with it, it's a situation that I'm just completely overwhelmed with." she confessed.

"We don't have to be in a relationship to talk, Rachel, I'd like to be your friend, but you've got to let me, okay?" She nodded, tears rising up in her eyes.

"I will," she vowed. "I have a sonogram on Monday, we might be able to find out the sex, do you want to know?" A big smile spread across Finn's face.

"Yeah, I would."

"Would you like a video as well? I think they're going to tape it, so I might be able to send you a copy."

"That would be awesome Rachel, it would be really awesome."

* * *

The screen flickered with black and white spots, but they could easily see an arm come up first. They'd all come with Rachel to this appointment. Santana was in a corner trying to act as if she didn't care, Kurt was almost bouncing up and down, and Brody's palms were sweaty as he held onto her shoulder tightly while the baby's face showed up on screen.

"It has your nose Rachel!" Kurt exclaimed, and Rachel giggled at his excitement, causing the baby to disappear on the screen for a few seconds.

After long minutes of waiting for the technician to measure everything and make sure all of the organs were working and present, the moment came for the reveal of the sex. Brody, Rachel and Finn all agreed that they wanted to know.

"You want to know the sex?" the technician asked, and Rachel and Brody nodded eagerly. She moved the wand around a little, trying to maneuver it so that it could see between the legs from the underside. She trixed a bit for a few moments, and Rachel was almost completely sure she knew what she saw.

"I'm about 90% sure that it is a…" she wrote on the screen 'BOY'.

"What is it?" Santana perked up in the corner, trying to understand from Rachel's happy tears what it was.

"A boy!" Kurt jumped up and down.

* * *

**Note:** looking up pas de bourrèe on you tube and similar leads me to think that the pas de bourrèe I've been taught isn't the same as the one in the US. So the one I'm talking about isn't the classical ballet pas de bourrèe but a more modern type. It's similar to the one found in hip-hop but a bit more… refined, and I guess pretty. It's… cross leg, uncross, 'tap foot', cross uncross 'tap foot'. If anyone understands what that is. And if anyone's wondering, dance classes on higher levels is basically the teacher yelling out "do this [dance term] then this" and you're expected to know it and do it straight away. Love it! I haven't danced for 5 years soon though. Stopped the year I turned 16, unfortunately.

**Note2**: Something else I want to bring up is that I definitely don't believe abortion is wrong for anyone to chose, and I wanted her to consider it in this story because… that's realistic IMO. However, right now it didn't feel as realistic for her to chose it. Not with the feelings I had written before. We'll see in March how Glee does it.

**Note3**: All information about pregnancy everything related is knowledge I've acquired from the internet and from older sisters who've had children. I wanted to be a midwife at one point, and started to pursue that career, so it's something that interests me a lot. Pregnancy is very fascinating. It may not be completely accurate, but it's the best I can do as a childless 20 year old ;)

Hope you've enjoyed this chapter. Leave a review and make a girl happy!

Next chapter may be delayed due to strange hand pain that makes it hard for me to type... But it will take a lot for me to stop writing, if I'm going to be honest.


	3. Adulthood

People tend to think that when they're 18 that they're an adult… and then they get saddled with real adult stuff and they realize that NOPE, you've still got a ways to go. But a baby? That's real adult stuff!

Also, wouldn't surprise me if Rachel and her parents are vegetarian, but taking creative liberties; they're not in this story.

And lastly: I'm not trying to portray any of the guys as bad or good, I'm just trying to make them realistic. Finn is 19, Brody is 20, so they're boys. They've got a lot of growing up to do, and they're not always going to realize that they've got to do it.

* * *

**Chapter 3: Adulthood**

Rachel thought that when she knew what sex her future child would be things would fall into place. She would be able to start making up concrete plans for the future, and get ready. But, unfortunately for Rachel and everyone around her, things did the opposite; they all fell apart.

Rachel took an extra class during summer to get extra credits, and spent the rest of her days substituting for a dance teacher that had taken the whole summer off. With the course work load, and the work load, she was kept sufficiently busy, and she felt confident that she was doing her best to assure that she would be able to cope once the baby was born.

But while Rachel was working, and Finn was working, Brody spent most of his days either in a pajamas in front of the TV eating fruit loops, or was at the gym just a few blocks from their apartment. At first Rachel bit her tongue. This was a situation where she was completely unsure of everything, and she didn't know how to approach him about it. But as June continued on, it started to grate her mood even more.

By July Brody still didn't understand that he needed a job and to start helping out, and Rachel still wasn't going to tell him anything. She was too scared. Rachel wasn't scared about anything, except everything about this situation. Kurt encouraged her to talk to him, but she chickened out every time.

When she returned to Lima for 4th of July Brody came with her. It was time for him to meet her parents, and it would be the first time he'd been to Lima, Ohio. All of them went back for the Holiday, and were picked up by their respective parents who all felt like they've been away too long, despite the fact that only a few weeks ago they'd returned for the Glee graduation.

Brody sat awkwardly next to Rachel in the backseat of her parent's car. He watched as they talked animatedly to each other about New York, the kids in the dancing class that she was teaching, and the newest update of her pregnancy. Her stomach had reached to point of growth where it was undeniable that she was pregnant, despite that felt good. Her cheeks were more pink than usual, and she was back to the energy of pre-pregnancy Rachel.

Brody and Rachel set themselves up in her room. He was impressed by the pink and just how girly the room was. She tried to get him not to look at the photos of her from high school, but couldn't stop him, she wasn't fast enough to flip them over.

"You were adorable," he said, assuring her with a kiss.

"No, I wasn't," she said, blushing. "You were probably the most popular guy in school."

"Me? I danced ballet, was in the theatre group, I had braces, and my mother dressed me," he said.

"I'd have to see it to believe it," she said. He only shook his head at her, kissing her again.

"Those photos are sealed, top priority security." She giggled, nuzzling herself into the crook of his shoulder.

For 4th of July her parents arranged a barbeque, and all of their friends and all of Rachel's friends were invited. Finn, his mom, and Kurt and his dad would come earlier in the day, but the rest of the Glee kids would come later on as the night progressed, after having celebrated during the day with their families.

Rachel was of course worried. The last time she'd seen Finn they had decided to be more amicable, and be more involved in each other's lives. They had managed okay, but it could have been better. He didn't know just how obviously pregnant she was now, because most things about her pregnancy was awkward for her to talk about. She was sure he didn't want to know about constipation,burst blood vessels on her thighs, or red angry stretch marks on her breasts. He knew that the baby was kicking, knew that it was a boy. The general things.

Rachel had of course tried to squeeze into her old dresses, the ones with a little more room in them, but they were too tight. So the weekend previous she had been dress shopping. She picked out a dress for today that she thought would hide her stomach because it was airy, and wide, but it only made her look bigger. It was a chiffon navy blue dress with a belt that tied under her chest, and the skirt had bird patterns on it. Very summery, almost like a sailor. She'd be able to wear it throughout the summer, but right now she regretted this choice of dress.

"I hate this," she whined, plopping down on a high chair in the kitchen. Her daddy, LeRoy, was on the other side preparing coleslaw, and the marinade for the meat.

"What is it honey?" he asked, putting down the peppershaker he had been holding

"Look at me, I look huge." She pressed her hands over her stomach. "I hate being pregnant."

"Well, it's a bit too late to go back now," LeRoy said with a comforting smile. "Pregnancy is never easy for anyone, you just have to stick it out until the end."

"That's easy for you to say, you don't get pregnant," she muttered.

"That's true," he said with a smile and a glint in his eye. "Do you want a brownie, I made some this morning." She nodded eagerly, and happily accepted the brownie that had been hidden under the foil on the kitchen counter. She bit into it while her daddy watched her with a smile.

"How is everything going in the big city then? Besides the kids and school." he asked, resuming to work on the marinade.

"It's weird." Her daddy raised his eyebrows. "Everyone is out working, except Brody, it's like because he doesn't know if the kid is his or not he won't make an effort, it could be his kid, it most likely is." She cupped her cheeks in frustration. "It's like he doesn't get how serious this is."

"Honey, he's a college boy, he's a boy, he actually doesn't know how serious it is," he said with a sympathetic smile. "Probably all he's seen of child rearing is on TV shows or at a distance in public." He leaned over the bar and took her hand in his. "You need to talk to him, explain it."

She pouted, trying to keep the tears away because she had just done her make-up.

"I will, after this weekend."

Two hours later the first guest arrived. Brody and Rachel were sitting on lawn chairs in the back, soaking up the sun. It was perfect July weather, and if they were lucky they might be able to get a tan.

"What do you think of Lima so far?" Rachel asked him, sliding her sunglasses into her hair.

"I think it's okay, I mean I prefer New York, but it's good," he nodded. She smiled widely.

"Great!" She kissed his cheek.

The guests started to come into the backyard, so Rachel went to say hello to them. It seemed like Rachel's pregnancy was news to them, so most of the conversations she had with people were about it. She sometimes tried to sway the conversation into another topic, but people refused to let it go. At one point she was ready to scream 'I get it, I'm pregnant!', but instead she excused herself to go to the bathroom. Everyone believed a pregnant woman when she said she needed to go to the bathroom.

"You managed to get away, in the end," someone said behind her when she entered the hallway towards the bathroom.

"Finn," she said with a smile, embracing him. "They're driving me insane out there, I don't think I can stand anymore talk about pregnancy."

"You look beautiful," he said, letting go of her to look at her again. "I didn't know." He raised his eyebrows pointedly at her stomach.

"I didn't know how to…" She frowned. "I just feel like I'm getting fat." She looked down at her feet, they were slowly disappearing from view, but now she could see them still.

"No, you're beautiful," he said again, his voice so soft she had to look up at him. Without fail Finn always managed to make her feel so beautiful, like she was worthy of the world. It was nice, comforting. Just what she needed.

"Thank you, it means a lot," she said, smiling up at him.

"If this baby is mine Rachel… I'm going make it work somehow, okay? I'm going to try to move to New York to help out and be there," he said. "There must be cars that need fixing there too." She giggled, and he laughed nervously.

"Yeah, there must be," she agreed. "Thank you, Finn, for being so understanding about it all."

"We don't really have a choice, do we?"

"No, I guess we don't, but you're taking it much better than you could've, and you should give yourself some credit for that… you're not smashing Brody's face in."

"I was tempted before," he said with a laugh.

"Finn, I really need to go to the bathroom now, but thanks for coming to talk with me."

"No problem." He brushed his hand over her arm.

When she returned to the party most of the people had arrived and were crowding around the grill, waiting to get some meat. She sat down next to Brody again, the chair still empty, and he looked bored.

"How are you?" she asked him, picking up his hand and kissing it.

"Bored," he admitted. "When did you say your friends would arrive, I'm feeling a bit young in this company, I'd rather feel old."

"Kurt has probably already arrived, but I haven't seen him, Finn is here, the rest will probably come after seven, so it's a while until then." It was only three now.

"Finn's here?" he asked, eyebrows shot up.

"Yeah, I talked to him on the way to the bathroom, he's probably still inside," she said with a shrug.

"It's been a while since the two of us met," Brody said. "We should probably talk, or something."

"We can eat first."

The two of them went up to stand in line for the barbecue. She leaned back against his chest, and he put his arms around her, resting his chin on her head, and his hands ontop of her stomach. Inside her belly her son was kicking, but it was too faintly for Brody to be able to feel it, but she told him anyway. Whenever she told Brody that the baby was kicking he would rub her stomach, and try to make him kick more. It always made her giggle, and she couldn't wait for the time when Brody would be able to feel it from the outside. She was sure that it would happen at anytime now, because the kicks were getting stronger.

"I think he'll definitely be a dancer," Brody said with a smirk, and she laughed.

They got their food on paper plates and went to sit down on the grass further down in the yard. They drank lemonade, watched everyone as they talked. When they saw Kurt standing with a plate of food they called him over, and he joined them on the grass, and soon Finn came, too. Rachel was scared it would get awkward, but when Kurt started sharing stories of Glee club, that weren't about Rachel and Finn's high school romance, Brody and Finn started talking eagerly to each other.

"So this is where you've been hiding?" she heard someone say behind them, and she looked up to see Santana, Brittany and Quinn. "There are way too many adults here," Santana continued, and sat down next to Brody.

"Have you met my roommates?" Santana asked Quinn and Brittany in a mock polite voice. "First we have Kurt, then Brody the hottie, then Rachel, and then the mini that currently occupies Rachel's uterus."

"Nice to meet you, I'm Quinn, this is Brittany" Quinn said to Brody, reaching her hand out to shake his, and he quickly stood up to shake hers.

"Nice to meet you two, too," he replied, and then shook Brittany's before sitting down again.

It wasn't much later before Mercedes, Artie, Blaine, Mike, Puck, Sam and Tina arrived as well. They all sat at the other end of the yard. Most of them sharing stories of their first year at college, or the last year of high school. It wasn't until they were all together that they realized that they'd missed each other, and together they preformed in front of the rest of the party, singing the national anthem. Brody joined them with a wide smile on his face.

* * *

While Lima provided an escape from reality, returning to New York was having it slapped in their face. She returned to work straight away, Brody returned to his couch, and everyone else seemed to pass each other in their apartment from time to time. Santana held down a waitress job at a fancy restaurant that hired her for her looks, and when she wasn't doing that she was selling tickets at a local cinema. Living the dream, until she figured out what she wanted to do with her life, she'd say. Kurt had busied himself with a musical that NYADA started practice for in the summer.

Rachel wanted to avoid confrontation, but after researching daycare costs she couldn't keep quiet anymore. As kind as her parents were, she couldn't expect them to pay all of this for her own child. However, confronting Brody turned out to be a bad choice, since he didn't seem to understand what the issue was.

After all, he didn't even know if the kid was his.

Which was when the screaming match begun. Rachel knew, oh she knew she said, that Brody was jealous, that he didn't actually want an open relationship, he just wanted it to be open for him. Rachel would have never accepted it before, but she felt unworthy of him, that was the only reason she agreed to it, because he never let her know she was good enough. She was always just there, nothing more.

And it ended, somewhere in between the kitchen, the door and the living room, with Rachel staring daggers at him, and his words hung in the air like a led balloon.

"I wanted to be with you, but I wasn't ready for a relationship, I wasn't ready for everything that came with it so I wanted it open, uncomplicated, and it's complicated now, Rachel! I didn't want to be in a relationship, and now I might be a father? How… What did you think was going to happen? That I'd happily accept the responsibility for another person for the rest of my life? I'm 20 years old Rachel, I can't even legally drink, yet I'm about to be a dad? How would you like me to react? I won't be like your dads, I'm not going to be like Finn, I wasn't raised like Finn was! How do you think it feels like knowing that I'm not good enough for you then? I know that always in the back of your mind you're thinking about Finn, but I'm the one that's been here, I'm the one who's held your hair up while you've thrown up, I've run to the store to get saltine crackers at 3am in the morning so that you'd stop throwing up, I'm the one who's been to every appointment, I'm the one that's here! We're not ready for this responsibility Rachel, look at us, we're kids, we haven't taken responsibility for anything big in our entire lives, and now you're expecting us to be able to take care of a baby? What?"

He then stared at her, stared straight at her for a few long seconds.

"I don't want to be a father, have you ever thought about that?"

Rachel hadn't said anything back. She didn't say anything as he quickly packed a suitcase with clothes and his things, and then rushed out of the apartment saying that he was going to go to his parent's in Philadelphia for a few days. She didn't say anything.

She only thought that she was almost 23 weeks pregnant and he'd never once told her that he didn't want this before. That he shouldn't have let it go on this far without saying anything.

She only felt anger and betrayal, and thankfulness that he'd given them a few days a part to sort everything out.

In those days Rachel had to confront the bubble world she'd been living in up until now. She put herself in an observer position of her own life, and suddenly started to notice so much that she hadn't before.

While most young people in the city struggled, young mothers like her were working themselves to the bone trying to make enough money to survive the months, she had it made. Her 325 dollar a month share of the apartment was paid by her dads, the groceries to, her tuition and clothes, everything came directly from her fathers. Whatever she earned as a dance teacher was put in a savings account for her son. She was living a privileged life most people could only dream of.

What did she know of responsibility? Was the first question she asked herself. She knew about responsibility for her actions, about responsibility in caring for a group and being there for them. But responsibility as in for herself, her own life, health, wellbeing? Making sure that the money lasted the month, having a budget, providing for herself? That had never been something she'd needed to do. Responsibility she'd had was never truly permanent, it was only temporary.

Could she be certain of the fact that she wouldn't crack under the pressure?

Brody came back a week later. They'd both calmed down enough, and thought everything through. He kissed and hugged her the first thing when he came through the door.

"I'm sorry," he said, holding her tighter.

"I'm sorry, too." She'd said some means things to him during their fight, things she didn't mean.

"We need to get better at communicating," he said, and she chuckled dryly.

"Yeah, we do," she agreed. They both cuddled up on the couch with each other. "Here," she said, taking his hand and pressing it on her stomach. She knew he'd feel the kick.

"Woah." She nodded and giggled, watching his face as he felt the kicks. She thought that he might not have wanted to be a father, but when this kid comes, and if he turned out to be her son's dad, he'd want to be his father. She could see on his face that he was growing attached.

She could only hope.  
With the end of summer came the end of the second trimester, and start of the last three months of pregnancy.

Two weeks before school started back up Brody turned 21. August 20th they decorated their apartment with serpentines, brightly colored lights, and music played from the speakers in the corners. Brody's friends from school came over, and it quickly became evident that he hadn't told anyone that his sort of girlfriend was pregnant. Neither of them comment on it, but Rachel quickly distanced herself from them and coped up in a corner by Santana who ogled a girl that was in the same show dance class as Brody.

"She's hot," Santana commented, grabbing a few chips from the bowl she'd put to rest on the top of Rachel's stomach.

"Talk to her then," Rachel encouraged, elbowing Santana lightly.

"Do you know her name?" Santana asked, hopefully.

"Not a faintest idea," she said with a smile while shaking her head. "Blondie?" It seemed Santana had a type.

Santana left her alone in the corner while she watched Brody and his friends laughing and dancing together. It reminded her of the party they'd had at Thanksgiving last year, when Isabelle and all of her friends came over. That was the kind of party she loved. This was a bit different. This was a party where no one was older than 21, and no one seemed to care about maturity. Brody's friends were jumping around trying to psych him up for the night out he was going to have.

It was given, you only turn 21 once, and that time should be taken advantage of. She'd turn 21 in two years, and she assured Brody that no matter what she'd get a baby-sitter because it's an age that should be celebrated. She didn't expect to feel so lonely during his birthday, though. Hadn't she been pregnant she would be up there, talking with them, being a part of it. They'd be much more accepting and willing to listen to whatever she had to say.

"What's with the sad face?" Kurt asked, taking chips from the bowl.

"I feel left out," she said with a sigh. "And I feel pregnant." She took the bowl off of her stomach and put it in Kurt's lap. "It feels like I'm thirty, not nineteen."

"You're growing up," Kurt said, stuffing his mouth full with chips. "It's a fatal and inevitable condition, well inevitable for most people anyway," he said with the chips in his mouth.

"And they just look at me like I'm a skank or something, and they don't even know anything." She watched Brody open a gift that someone had just given him. It turned out to be a gin bottle. She rubbed her stomach, feeling him moving lazily in there. "Please Kurt, take me back like 8 months and tell me to get on birth control."

"Rach, as your son's future god parent, no." She smiled, taking a few chips from the bowl in his lap herself.

"Want to feel him kick?" she asked, with a mischievous smile.

"Yes please." He put his hands on her stomach.

"Just going to wake him up a little bit more." She poked and pushed on her stomach, to make him move a little, and in response Kurt got to feel a four hard kicks.

"Thank you, boy," he said to her stomach.

* * *

**A/N:** This chapter was a bit shorter, but I wanted to get it out today because I will be working the next two days, and I might end up with shifts everyday this coming week, you never know. Has happened before. Sub/hourly lyfe. I go when they want me. Also had kiddo vistors today that I wanted to play a bit with ;)

So Rachel is growing up, and starting to realize the responsibility she's taken on, her relationship with Finn is a bit more amicable, her and Brody have sorted out a bit of their issues, or have they? Next chapter will be about that, and Rachel going back for her sophmore year, people's reaction... and will the baby come next chapter? Hmmm... I'll keep you on the edge of your seats for now, because I haven't actually planned that far ahead. I think as I type.

**Got a BIIIG question to ask all of you reading this story**, and since I know that almost 30 of you are following this story... some of you might have an imput:

**Any suggestions for a boy name?**

Think hebrew, since Rachel is jewish! :)

Don't be scared of leaving a review either! I love hearing what people think about what I'm writing :)


	4. School

This chapter is really short, but I wanted to end it where I ended it so yeah. This chapter, like the last one, has mostly been written in the middle of the night. I just finished this chapter like... 3 min ago, and it's 3am. hehe

This chapter also explains WHY this is a Rachel/Brody story, in my opinon. Read it until the end. I have big plans, so trust me, okay? I love writing angst stories, so I need to have ambivalence on what Rachel wants in life, as said in the summary. I've watered it down MASSIVELY for this story, it could be a whole lot worse (I mean, check out my other stories, haha!).

Thanks everyone for the name suggestions! I'm considering a few for middle a middle name!

* * *

**Chapter 4: School**

Hitting the end of 7 months also meant hitting the point of her pregnancy where exhaustion returned, full force, because becoming comfortable in bed was a thing of the past. She would toss and turn until she was sure that she'd dug a hole in the mattress, and Brody stormed out of the room in annoyance at 3am to sleep on the couch.

Not surprisingly, Brody and Rachel were very tired their first week back at school. Rachel had been in meetings with the school counselor for a couple of weeks so that they could figure out her schedule for this semester. She would only do theoretical classes this semester, and thankfully the teachers allowed her study the weeks after she had her son and the finals at home, but there was no way to get around the finals. Somehow she would just have to make it work. So while most of her peers were in theatre, or dancing, learning how to direct or do something creative, she was sitting in hard wooden benches listening to professors drone on and on making it almost impossible for her to stay awake.

Her peers' reaction to her pregnancy wasn't positive either. When school let out for summer she had only looked chubby, and the summer classes were mostly filled with upperclassmen that had fallen behind in credits. Now she was in her last couple of weeks of pregnancy, undoubtedly pregnant with swollen ankles and an awkward and slowed gait to show for it. People who would've said hi to her the last semester walked by her without a word, and more than once she heard curious whispers where people were wondering why she was still attending NYADA if she was going to have a baby.

Creative work and children didn't seem to mix well, and everyone had gotten the memo but Rachel, despite having been told throughout her whole pregnancy. Rachel loved attention, loved people's eyes on her, this was not the attention she wanted. Had she been her 16 year old self she would've bounced off and chalked it up as 'any type of attention is good attention', but the genuinely hateful looks she got from some of the girls made her queasy. What made it absolutely horrible was the way the teachers looked at her. From her peers it was expected, young people had a tendency to judge people based on appearances, but she expected adults to not judge because of experience. That did not happen.

The teacher showed their disapproval by sending her annoyed looks whenever she adjusted herself in her chair trying to get herself comfortable, and if she ever dared to go to the bathroom during class to relieve her diminishing bladder they would mutter about special treatment. The odd thing was that she didn't go more often than any other student, she always went straight before, or after, and if there were any short breaks she'd take that chance. Everyone whispered about special treatment, but Rachel had yet to experience anything other than exclusion, and ridicule.

People made it a point to stare at her belly whenever she went, and if she had a smaller belly she would've made it a point to hide it. However, it had gotten to the stage where the only way to hide it would to put on a fat-suit., but she didn't think anyone would buy it. So the only way to go was to flaunt it, then. Tight t-shirt dresses that showed off every curve. While self-conscious about the weight that she'd put on, which her doctor assured her was just as she should, she figured that if she couldn't make them stop staring she would show them that she was not ashamed.

It worked for the most part.

Towards the end of September when everyone had gotten completely back into studying, and were keeping themselves busy as it was, came the planning of what would soon come. While everyone understood that at some point Rachel would give birth to a baby boy, no one had actually wanted to think about the logistics of what would happen once he was born.

"I got a text from Finn," she said during their moisturizing routine. "He wants to be there when the baby's born."

"Okay, but isn't that a bit weird?" Rachel frowned at him.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that he's not your boyfriend," Brody said with a shrug.  
"Well neither are you, and you're going to be there, right?" Brody nodded, but smiled.

"Not really the same thing, though." He put one hand on her stomach. "I've been here throughout the whole pregnancy, and I've gotten quite close to this little kiddo, I want to see him be born." He kissed the top of her stomach, and she watched him carefully.

"What will you do if he isn't yours?" she asked shyly. That sobered Brody up quickly, and he straightened up. He looked at her, straight at her. There was something vulnerable about young pregnant girls, when they are about to embark on a new path where everything is new, and they're trying to grasp for something to hold on to, to keep them grounded. She watched him, a hand protectively laid on her stomach, subconsciously, and her eyes darting across is features to register every facial expression.

"I'm 99% sure he's mine, but if he isn't…" He let out a big gush of breath, glancing up at the ceiling. "I don't know, I think I'd want to stay, but I can't say for sure, Rachel, it's unimaginable for me."

"I hate not knowing." Her voice was thick with tears, her eyes were welling up and a tear spilled down across her cheeks. Without a second thought he brushed away the tear with his thumb, and embracing her with a hug. "I can't believe it's real."

After a week of talking they managed to decide that Finn would be there for the birth, because Rachel threw in her I-am-the-one-who-is-pregnant veto. Of course, then came the attempt to plan for him being there. As every site on the internet, along with her doctor, told her that her son could come at any time really, it was hard to decide just how long Finn would stay, and where. Their apartment was crowded enough, and provided little space to allow another person to stay for longer than a couple of days. If Finn wanted to be there for the birth he could have to be forced to stay there for three weeks, to make sure. Her doctor assured her that if she went a week over her due date she would be induced, so he wouldn't have to wait very long.

After a bit of debating it was decided that he was to come the day before Halloween and stay until whenever her son was born, and if he could he'd stay until the paternity test results were in.

It was at this point that it hit Rachel that she was 35 weeks pregnant, and they hadn't even bought a crib. After freaking out at Brody for allowing that to slip her mind, a place to sleep was important after all, and a trip to a store to buy an affordable crib in a haste, Rachel did an inventory of what they had bought, and what they needed to buy. And do.

Her checklist was filled with things such as a changing mat, clothes in loads, winter suits, a stroller because they would be taking the train and be walking a lot, a car seat to use in Lima, or in taxis, or wherever they went. Brody sat next to her for a while with his eyebrows up in his forehead, impressed, and scared, about the size of the list.

"I haven't even decided if I'm going to breastfeed or not yet," Rachel whined when Kurt suggested that she put up bottles, too.

"If you're going to school, breastfeeding might not be the best option," Kurt said. Rachel couldn't deny that, and put down bottles.

Somewhere along that week, while she was looking something up online, it hit her that her son didn't have a name. That made her feel horrible, angry, and disappointed in herself. She was freaking out over a crib, but she hadn't even thought about the most important thing for a child: a name. Of course this resulted in her crying. The stress, tiredness, and hormones were all pushing her to the brink, and forgetting to name her child was one thing she found hard to forgive herself for.

It wasn't easy for Kurt to calm her down when he found her sobbing on the couch while on a baby name site. But once he did there was another obstacle about everything; should she name her son herself, or should there be a compromise between all three of them?

Not wanting to argue with Rachel, as she was very intimidating while pregnant, even on the phone, both Finn and Brody backed off on the first name, and agreed that as long as it wasn't horrible, they'd accept it. They would get to pick the middle name though, whoever of them were the father. That calmed Rachel down immensely, and when she should have studied for class she was on baby-name sites trying to find the perfect name for her boy.

How she came up, or found, the name she had no idea, she just knew that she loved it when she saw it on the page. Some women have stories of how they came up with the names for their kid, but this name she just liked. It was the only name that wasn't mundanely boring, too out of there, or just not something she liked.

That was why. Because she liked it. And both Finn and Brody accepted that name. Asher Berry, the middle name is yet to be announced. She was sure Finn only said it was okay because after four days of texting names Asher was the only name that she consistently agreed was good, since every other name she had doubts about at least 3 times, and every time she sent a text about it.

36 weeks came along, and so did insomnia, nesting worse than ever before, and the baby dropped. The baby dropping was good for her lungs, because she could walk a bit easier without getting too winded, but now she couldn't walk for very long because she had a head grating on her pelvic bone.

"Why are you wincing?" Kurt asked while they were in the cafeteria eating lunch. She glared at him, her mouth curling in anger.

"I have a baby turning its head, pushing down on my pelvic bone, want to try?" Her temper wasn't the best it had been, either.

"Sorry," Kurt said with wide eyes, trying to hold back his laugh by faking a wince. She saw that, and narrowed her eyes.

That was also the week when Rachel had to meet with all her teachers in the practical courses, to plan for the next semester. While October was early, it was important for it to be done before the baby was born, and in good time so that the teachers would be prepared. One more student in a theatre group was a bit more to prepare for than for an extra student in a bench in the class room.

While she waited outside of the conference room the meeting was supposed to be held in, she saw Ms July walking down the hallway. Rachel immediately straightened up, and subconsciously attempted to suck in her stomach, but obviously failing miserably.

"I'm seeing Miss Rachel has blown up to whale size, good job!" Ms July slow clapped. "I actually didn't think you'd go through with it, but I think I overestimated your smarts a little bit."

"Ms July, I know that you're jealous of me because I have something that you don't but-" July's laugh cut her off.

"Wait, you think I'm jealous of you?" She laughed loudly. "No, I pity you, I pity that child." She pointed at Rachel's protruding belly. "Because you're not going to last, you've thrown away everything because you wanted to play house. You weren't going to last before, and now you don't even stand a chance." She scoffed.

"You know what Ms July? I don't care what you think, I'm just going to do," Rachel said, confidently. "There is no other way in my life."

"If I could have a penny for every time someone said that to me." July sat down in the seat next to hers, crossing her legs and turning to look Rachel. "I know you see me as a huge bitch that makes your life miserable, but I was employed here for a reason, I'm the student's reality check, and it's been a year and you're still stuck in your own land, that means I've failed, that means you have failed. I'm not a bitch because I hate my students, or because I want to make them miserable, I do it because I actually care about what happens when you get out there, something those sweet high school teachers don't think about when they encourage you to 'dream big'. You know what, you might succeed on Broadway one day, but it won't be anytime soon, because no one, absolutely no one is going to employ a young mother that won't sacrifice years of her life to a play at inconvenient hours for little pay. Because young mothers are unpredictable, their kids suddenly get sick and they can't come in for rehearsal one day. They won't take that risk, no matter what kind of amazing voice you've got. So either you think again, or continue on living in your bubble. You've got to chose, what do you want the most? Your kid, or Broadway?"

It may have been childish, it took a long while for Rachel to understand that it was incredibly immature, but she was pissed that no one had told her before, that no one had before her last weeks of pregnant shook her shoulders and told her that she was living a dream. No one told her that impossible existed until that moment July sat down on her chair for only a few minutes, looked her in the eyes, told her about life, slapped her chair and got up and left. July refused to cooperate, saying that Rachel had to chose.

Broadway, or motherhood.

What July said shook her worse than the initial news of her pregnancy. It dumbfounded her. Nothing else registered in her brain, but those last few words July said to her. While she wanted to shake it off, claim it as something July said to get to her, it was logical, it was the truth. No one had ever sat her down and told her the truth before like that. No one made her listen, and that angered her.

She immediately wanted to pack her bags and fly back to Lima to her fathers. Give up straight away. Lie in bed and never get out, not have to confront reality. Stop time, preferably, too. However, no flight companies would let her fly at 8 months pregnant, she checked, so she returned to her apartment, and her bed, and cried until someone came home, and then she quietly lay in bed, hoping no one would notice her.

Of course, you always notice the pregnant person in an apartment. Especially not when she couldn't stay in bed for longer than 30 minutes at a time before having to go to the bathroom. She considered begging for a catheter, until she mentally slapped herself for that post.

It took 3 hours for her room mates to muster up the courage to talk to her, she'd heard them quietly debating on what to do. They quietly walked into her and Brody's room, gingerly sitting down on the mattress around her.

"What's going on, Rache?" Kurt asked sweetly, rubbing her arm.

"I don't want to talk about it," she muttered into her pillow. Kurt eyed Santana and Brody, they all knew they were walking a fine line, but they all wanted to know what had Rachel so upset.

"Can you tell us what it's about?" Brody asked, lying down opposite Rachel, so close that she could feel his breath on her forehead, his arms were circling around her, holding her to him. "Rachel?"

"No," she said, shaking her head roughly, but her tears were starting to spill again. She let out a sob and then threw her arms around Brody, unable to hold the tears in any longer.

"Hey Rachel," he said, kissing her tearstained cheeks. "Why are you crying?" He was cradling her closely to him, and she seemed so vulnerable that he immediately sent out Kurt and Santana from their room. He knew they'd hear them anyway, but having them watch Rachel's breakdown didn't sit well with him.

"I screwed up," she managed to get out. "I have… I have to," she stuttered. "No one will want me, no one would hire me, I'm screwed, I ruined everything," she wailed. Inside it felt like her heart was being ripped into shreds, piece by piece, excruciatingly slow. It was torture. "I have to choose between Asher and… and my… my future." She was hiccupping by now, unable to get the words out of her mouth properly. "I don't want to choose!"

"Rachel.." He had no words of comfort, or any way of assuring her. He didn't know if this was the truth or not, it probably was. He had no way of knowing. "Baby, no matter what, I'll be here, okay?" She hung onto him tighter, almost climbing up on him, not ever wanting to let go.

"I don't know what to do," she sobbed in his ear.

All he wanted to do was take the pain away, but he didn't know how.

* * *

Poor Rachel, but Cassandra July is right. Should she choose Broadway or Asher? What do you think? I am 95% sure of what she'll chose, but I can still be persuaded, hehehe.

Oh! And if any of you are Hunger Games fans, please please please check out my story for it. It's a bit, a lot, different than this one, but somewhat the same themes in it. So if you like this one, check my other one out! /s/8848842/1/People-of-The-Meadow

:) *shameless*

Reviews makes a girl really happy.


	5. Birth

If you're here to tell me that I've labeled this as the "wrong pairing", just GTFO. I'm tired of you. That is some major childish bullshit. If you can't stand people from a different pairing being civil to each other in a fic, and you are bothered about it enough to complain instead of clicking away from the store; count yourself lucky, okay? Because the rest of us are dealing with REAL problems in life. In the real world people can be civil to each other, in Glee-world Rachel and Finn love each other, no matter what I think about the two of them. I don't even like Finn! He's annoying, selfish, and rude. So just stop it with the… childishness. I have not come across a fandom as childish as the Glee one, and that's really sad! You're ruining it for the rest of us.

**But the rest of you, you are wonderful, and keep being wonderful, okay?** I have no issues with people critiquing my writing, and helping me improve, but that's just negativity that I am allergic to. Complain about the content, the facts, etc. but complaining about my creative process is just rude. It's not fun to wake up and check your mail and the first thing you read is that. I have had a _really_ horrible day, and seeing that kind of negativity didn't help me at all.

**And please forgive me for all the grammatical errors, the spelling errors, and the missing words in the last chapter...**

* * *

**Chapter 5: Birth**

"It's been a day, she won't tell me what's wrong," Brody said to his father on the phone. From where he was sitting in the living room he could see Rachel on the bed, curled up around her huge belly.

"Then I think you should give her time, son," his father said. "Sometimes pregnant women aren't… she's facing huge changes in her life, give her time to process that."

"I'm really worried, dad." Rationally he knew that Rachel would tell him if there was something seriously wrong, but when she started talking about choosing between Broadway and their son, he wasn't that confident anymore. He remembered that there was a meeting at NYADA yesterday, and something must have happened then.

"Just be there for her, be the man I raised you to be." Brody could see Rachel stirring from her short nap, her head lifting from the pillow to look around her, and then her eyes fell on him. There was something there that broke his heart all over again. Her hurting made him hurt.

"I gotta go dad, thank you… for your help," he said.

"Don't worry about it." They said goodbye and hung up, and Brody was already halfway across the room. He curled up behind Rachel, spooning her from behind, kissing the crook of her neck softly, making her shiver

"Are you ready to talk to me yet?" he asked, gently stroking patterns on her stomach. She looked back at him, tears welling up in her eyes again.

"No," she said. He tried his hardest be understanding. He wanted to shake it out of her, but knew that wouldn't get them anywhere.

"Rachel, I just want you to know that I love you, a lot, no matter what I'll stay, I'll be there for you." It wasn't until he saw her so sad that he realized that he loved her. It hurt him when she was hurt, like a stab to the chest with every tear that spilled down her cheeks.

"I love you too," she said, pulling his head towards her so that she could kiss him. "I hope he's yours," she confessed.

"Me too."

The next day, Brody did the same thing. He curled up in bed next to her, kissed her cheek and told her he loved her.

"Want to talk about it today?" he asked, not expecting the nod she gave in reply. "What happened at the meeting?"

"Ms July, " she started, but had to take a deep breath before she continued. "I don't know how I can do Broadway while having Asher, I can't afford raising a child on a paycheck that small…" She was surprised that she wasn't crying, that the numbness wasn't there, that she felt somewhat normal. She was resigned. "Who would watch him during late night shows, or all-day rehearsals? I won't afford a babysitter, or daycare." She frowned.

"Rachel, you are living with three people, three people who will be perfectly qualified baby-sitters, I don't think you should throw away that dream just yet, Rachel, there are ways." He kissed the back of her hand. "Ms July may have experience, but that doesn't mean she knows everything, or knows you, so don't let her get to you Rachel." She smiled contently.

"Thank you." She squeezed his hand, that was still holding hers.

The next day she returned to school, her head held high, trying to appear confident despite her insides churning with nerves, fears and apprehension about her future. Brody's words helped her to think a little more positive, but she was still not doubting Ms July's words. She would try her hardest, do what she could. Not trying wasn't an option.

The next weeks passed much too slowly for Rachel's taste. She was uncomfortable, hurting, she was tired, and sick of being pregnant. She felt like a whale, and a penguin at the same time as she waddled around everywhere. Everyone were constantly texting, or messaging her on face book, asking if she was having the baby yet.

Finn came the day before Halloween with his suitcases packed, and ready to spend a couple of weeks on the couch in their Bushwick loft. The apartment was crowded, loud, messy, and cramped. Rachel felt uncomfortable with Finn's prying eyes on her all the time, and the only time she felt that she could breathe was when she went to school, but even there people were staring as if they'd never seen a heavily pregnant woman before.

Of course Finn was confused to why she was still in school, she was due any day now, and commuting so much seemed like a bad idea. She tried to explain to him that she needed to be in school as much as possible before the baby came, so that she wouldn't fail her finals, but he still didn't get it, and Rachel was too annoyed to attempt to explain it further.

When November 3rd rolled around the tension in the apartment rose to astronomic levels. The imminent birth, and subsequent reveal of the father to Rachel's baby, put both Brody and Finn on the edge, and it was as if the two of them were waiting for a reason to attack each other. That ended up with Santana throwing one of them out of the apartment for a walk if the tension got too bad. Most often she threw out Finn, because she had a bias towards Brody.

Rachel's due date came, and went. That was enough to send her over the edge. When her doctor told her that she wouldn't induce her until she was a week over her due date, Rachel did everything she could to jump-start her labor. She took long walks, ate strong food, she did jumping-jacks, bounced on a ball, she had sex. None of it felt like it helped, and she was certain that her son's birthday would be November 16th.

Then, four days after her due date she woke up to the feeling of her underwear being soaking wet. Finally her water had broken in the early morning of November 13th. While Finn and Santana wanted to rush her to the hospital, like they'd done with Quinn, Rachel told them to be quiet, and that she wasn't going anywhere until her contractions where closer together.

The others took over the timer while Rachel paced the apartment, and as the contractions grew more painful she had to stop every time they came. It took four hours before the contractions were close enough to head to the hospital.

"Have we got everything with us?" Finn asked, sitting on one side of Rachel in the taxi, a bag of things in his lap.

"Yes, we packed it two weeks ago," Brody said, assuring Finn who seemed to be freaking out.

"Okay, okay," he said, looking out of the window and Brooklyn that was passing them by.

When Rachel was officially admitted to the hospital she called her dads to tell them that it was for real, she was in labor. It was safe to say that her dads were a mess, and despite it being a Wednesday the two of them took an early weekend and immediately booked a flight to New York, so that they would arrive that evening to come see her.

Santana and Kurt was on duty to inform all of the Glee club members of her impending arrival of her son, most probably today, and they also passed along all of the messages that the Glee members had. From Quinn's "don't resist the epidural" to Brittany's "wait, I thought she was just gassy". Rachel did take Quinn's advise, promptly. She had barely been in the hospital for an hour before she begged for it.

"What is this?" Santana asked, pointing at a wall with ten circles of different sizes on it.

"That's showing how big one centimeter dilated is, and how big five is, eight and so on," a nurse said with a knowing smile. "This is how dilated she must be to start pushing," she said, pointing at the largest circle.

"Are you kidding me?" Santana blurted out, staring with wide eyes at the biggest circle. "How is that even humanly possible?"

"Women have fantastic abilities," the nurse said, smiling knowingly.

"Will it go back?" Santana whispered to the nurse, eyeing Rachel over her shoulder.

"Yes, it will."

"Santana stop," Rachel said from the bed. "I know what you're talking about."

"I'm just looking out for you," Santana said with a shrug.

"Then get me some ice chips or something, don't talk about my cervix," she muttered, shifting uncomfortably as she could feel the pressure of a contraction.

The time passed painfully slow, slower than everyone had expected it to. Quinn's birth had been remarkably quick, from her water breaking to Beth's birth there had been no more than 2 hours. Rachel's water had broke 8 hours before she was even pushing.

Of course, when she started pushing it meant business. And it meant that Santana and Kurt were kicked out to the waiting room, where they would wait until someone announced Asher's birth.

There was many things Rachel thought about child birth, and none of them were positive in the slightest. While Brody and Finn stood on either side of her, holding her legs, the doctor stood between them telling her when to push, and when not to push. She had no idea how long it took between the first push and when Asher finally was placed on her chest, but eventually he was there.

"Oh my god!" Rachel gasped, looking at her son. He looked so familiar, yet she couldn't place his features specifically. She knew he was hers, recognized her own lips in his lip shape. The rest of his face was scrunched up and swollen after the rough way of entering the world. "He's beautiful."

She looked up at Brody, wanting to see his reaction, and he was crying. Rachel had never seen Brody cry until then, but he was hiding his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking with tears.

"He's got my nose," was Brody's explanation later. He knew Asher was his son. In his mind there was no doubt about it, what he saw in front of him was his son.

A nurse picked Asher up, to be weighed and checked out, and Finn quickly reminded the nurse to do a sample for a DNA test. Brody and Finn had already submitted their sample beforehand. That drew Rachel's focus away from Brody and Asher to Finn, who appeared shell-shocked about everything. Compared to Brody his reaction was lukewarm, happy, but he was happy for any baby. That didn't mean he wasn't the father, he thought. He still could be.

Asher weighed 9lbs 6oz and was 20.3 inches long, born November 13th. A big baby compared to most of the other kids born that day.

When all the doctors and nurses had left, Rachel held her son and never planned to let go. Finn and Santana came into the room on their tiptoes, to make sure not to wake a sleeping baby, and the two of them argued about who would hold Asher first until it became apparent that for now Rachel wasn't letting go.

No matter what, Rachel knew in that moment, she would always have her son. She would give up anything for him, do anything for him. When she looked at him she knew that whatever this lead to, she would have to get through it. No matter what. No matter how. If she ended up having to give up Broadway she would have to find a new dream. She couldn't be her mother, she couldn't have regrets.

After some coaxing, and a little bribing of coffee from Starbucks, Brody managed to convince Rachel that he could hold Asher for a while. A while turned into an hour when Rachel fell asleep, and then Kurt and Santana returned for their snuggle time with Asher. None of them knew where Finn had gone, but he'd been away for two hours. When Finn returned, he returned with Rachel's parents, who had no qualms about waking their daughter up with kisses and hugs.

"Where is the boy?" Hiram asked, looking around the room, finding a small little bundle in Brody's arms. "You've made a beautiful baby honey," he said as he peeked over Brody's shoulder. "Can I hold him?"

* * *

Three days later they were released from the hospital, and had to return home. Rachel was a mess, crying over everything from spilled milk to having chosen the wrong outfit for her son to come home in. While the baby sweats were cute, it wasn't a nice coming home outfit.

The nurses assured everyone that it was completely normal, and it was only the hormones after birth. It would calm down after a couple of days.

Crying or not, she was going home. Reluctantly she strapped in Asher in his carseat in the back of her parent's rental car, and sat next to him during the ride home, eyes trained on him. She was afraid that if she let her eyes off of him for a second he'd start crying, and she wouldn't have a clue on what to do.

"How are you feeling honey?" LeRoy asked her, eyeing her in the mirror.

"Scared." She did her best trying to hold back her own tears, and was successful this time.

"When are you getting the results, do you know?" he asked her, and she drew a deep breath.

"Monday, probably, they said three work days." She didn't feel up for talking. She felt drained, emotionally, mentally and physically. She just wanted to get home, get some rest before the madness of parenthood began.

When they got home Asher still slept in his car seat, so she put him down on the floor next to the couch and sat down on it herself, trying to prepare herself for the moment he woke up. She was still in her coat, hat, she had everything on, and within a few seconds she was asleep.

When she woke up again she was greeted by the sight of Brody sitting next to her on the couch feeding Asher, and she was no longer in her coat.

"I fell asleep," she said and pouted, scooting over to peer down at her son eating. "He's so pretty." Everytime she looked at him she fell more and more in love, it was so much that it hurt. All she wanted to do was pick him up and hold him forever, protect him from everything. Have him never grow up.

Unfortunately love didn't stop a baby from waking up at odd hours screaming for food, a new diaper, or for comfort. Or simply because they didn't want to sleep at all. It quickly became evident for Rachel that she had a nocturnal child that refused to sleep during the night, and slept throughout the day. So while everyone was sleeping she was forced to stay wide awake with her son grunting on her chest. Luckily for the rest of the people living in their apartment his screams weren't high wails, but more whines of disapproval, and if he ever did cry it was a cry that didn't have much pitch. That didn't come from Rachel, her parents informed her.

Asher was a talkative newborn. There was always sounds coming from him, sleeping, awake, eating.

The first weekend went well, for everyone who weren't Rachel and Brody, who were up with Asher most of the nights. Until that point Santana and Kurt hadn't been disturbed by it, but Rachel knew that it would only be sometime before everyone was awakened by Asher's will.

That Monday morning they received the call about the results. If they came by after lunch they would have them in, and a tech would read the results for them. Rachel's nerves were wrecking chaos in her stomach, and she was getting out of breath because of the nausea.

With help from her Finn and her roomates she was able to take a shower and get ready in time for two pm. Not without discontent she put on one of her maternity dresses, her stomach hadn't had time to settle back after birth. She had never packed so many things for a quick trip somewhere. Her diaper bag was filled with diapers, wipes, a plastic changing mat, change of clothes for Asher, formula, bottles, extra pacifiers, and the necessary hand sanitizer for whomever would change Asher. That wasn't even taking into account her own things.

She'd gone through everything twice, and after she had dressed Asher in his snow suit she had to undress him again because she realized she'd forgotten to change is diaper. What would have taken max an hour for her to do before, took at least three hours with a baby, and they were delayed. Finn and her had planned to meet up Brody at the clinic, and by the time they got there Brody had been waiting for 30 minutes already.

Rachel was exhausted by just getting ready, which was the reason why she immediately slumped down on the chair, pulling Asher's stroller right next to her so that she could see him from where she was sitting.

"Hi, we're here to get some results for a paternity test," Finn said to the man behind the counter.

"Okay, can I have your names and ID please?" he asked. Brody took Rachel's ID and went up to the counter with them.

"Finn Hudson, Rachel Berry, and Brody Weston," Finn said, holding his ID out, too. After the man had typed everything in, he left the room to get the papers printed out. When he returned he asked them to come with him to a room in back for more privacy.

In there the tension got unbearable. Rachel had no idea what she would feel about the results, and she didn't know how either of them would react to it.

"The results show, with 99,97% accuracy, that Brody Weston is the father." Rachel couldn't deny the relief she felt. Brody had been there the whole way, Brody knew her better than Finn did now, Brody had been there, Brody had acted like the father for so long.

She looked at Finn and Brody, to see how they'd taken the news. Brody seemed torn between ecstatic and scared shitless, and Finn seemed to not know how to react to the news. Relief and sadness appeared on his face. He was only 20, too young to be a dad.

Finn would travel home that night, leave Rachel and Brody to start their life as a family. This was the moment Rachel had been waiting for, the moment that would allow her to start her new life. Now she could plan. Now she could fight.

* * *

That was chapter 5. No begins reality, real reality.


	6. Parenthood

My note for this chapter is simply this: the actor playing Brody is sooo hot. It's very distracting for my imagination. Lucky Rachel. And I decided to skip the whole "is he a prostitute" in this story because it can be drugs, and I have no clue sooo. Not even gonna touch it.

* * *

**Chapter 6: Parenthood**

It was 4am. She checked the clock again and it was still 4am. Asher was resting on her chest as she paced the floor, from one wall to the other, hoping that he would find comfort and fall asleep soon. Whenever Rachel dared to stop and check if he was sleeping he would let out a cry in protest. He only liked being in motion, and standing still would ensure that everyone in the apartment would wake up.

"Please baby, let your mother sleep," she whispered in his ear, before rubbing her eyes. She was sure that if she didn't get any sleep soon she would collapse. Her legs were tired, her arms were tired, her whole body was tired. She'd never been this exhausted in her life before.

Ten laps later she saw something moving in the corner of her eye, and looked up to see Santana frowning at her.

"What are you doing up now?" she asked incredulously.

"Baby won't sleep," Rachel whispered. "What are you doing up?"

"I've got that internship at the morning show, remember?" Santana said, shuffling towards the coffee brewer.

"Can you make some for me?" Santana nodded, filling the coffee maker with powder and water. "I'm so tired," Rachel groaned, rubbing her face.

"How long have you been up?" Santana opened the fridge and pulled out her pre-prepared sandwich.

"I don't know, since three?" Rachel shrugged, glancing down at Asher who looked to be asleep, but she didn't want to take any chances.

"Want me to take him for a while?" Santana asked, looking a bit worried, but Rachel shook her head.

"No, he needs to eat soon, and Brody will get up with him at 5, so I'll be alright. Get ready, you can't be late."

"If you say so."

Asher was soon 5 weeks old, and was the love of Rachel's life, despite keeping her from sleep. Asher's personality was already emerging, from what Rachel could tell, and her little boy was all go-go-go. Not like those other babies she had met in the young mother's group her gynecologist had suggested for her. They'd only met once the week before, but while the other babies most of the time slept soundly in their strollers, or in their mothers arms, Asher was fussing and refused to settle until she was walking around with him in the small coffee shop they'd met up at.

She walked for another ten minutes before sitting down on the couch, falling asleep in an instant despite Santana rushing around getting ready. It only felt like two minutes had passed when Asher's cry of protest woke her up again. She immediately shook herself awake, noticing that there wasn't a baby on her chest and started to freak out before she noticed that Brody was sitting next to her feeding Asher.

"Good morning," Brody said with a lazy smile.

"What time is it?" Asher was contently sucking on his bottle looking up at Brody who was trying to see how much Asher had eaten so far.

"Uh, about 6am," he said.

"That's why my neck hurts… is it okay if I lie down in bed for a while? You can come with him when you need to get ready, the two of us have been up most of the night." She combed the dark hair on Asher's head with her fingers.

"That's okay."

Most mornings were like that. Rachel was up most of the night, and then Brody got up a bit earlier in the morning before he had to go to school. Rachel was able to take short naps during the day, whereas Brody was in the middle of the final rehearsals for the senior Christmas play, while also being in the middle of finals.

Rachel had her first final the next day, and she'd managed to convince Santana to watch Asher while she took her finals. She had in total five finals, and the past weeks she'd barely done anything but study and take care of Asher, so she was looking forward to Christmas when she could finally breathe a little. It was getting hectic, and a bit too much.

After getting another few hours of sleep, she was woken up at 8am by Brody who put a sleeping Asher next to her, and she got another 30 minutes of sleep before he woke up to be fed. That's how it had been for the past couple of days, and Rachel hoped that this meant that they'd finally settled into a routine.

While Santana was at her internship, as she was on Mondays and Thursday-Saturdays , and Kurt and Brody were in school, she and Asher were alone. Not being the type of kid who liked to play on the ground, or sit in his bouncer, Rachel had a few days prior invested in a moby wrap that she walked around with Asher in. It got hot and uncomfortable, and made it impossible for her to take a shower, or change clothes. Not that she could bother with it, anyway. She had tried to take a shower while she was home alone a few times, but after Asher started crying when she still had shampoo in her hair, it was no point.

So she sat with Asher in her lap, a text book in one hand, and a highlighter in the other, trying to cram the last information in for the final tomorrow. From time to time Asher got annoyed with simply lying on her chest and forced her to take a break from studying to play with him. Other times it was to eat, to change his diaper, or because he was too tired and couldn't settle himself.

Studying wasn't easy with a kid who demanded attention.

When Santana came back to the apartment at lunch time she fixed both of them lunch, and helped cleaning all the bottles from the night and morning. Santana would take an hour nap, and then she would take over Asher for an hour while Rachel studied before she needed to get ready for her shift at the cinema. Then Rachel had about two hours alone with Asher before Kurt got home. Sometimes, if Asher had been in a good mood during the day, she would be the one making dinner, but most of the time it was Kurt. The two of them would eat dinner together, and he'd talk about what had happened at school that day, and she gave him the daily update of Asher. Mostly it involved Asher's poop.

Before becoming a mom Rachel hadn't understood the fascination about a baby's poop. But when most of the days revolved around dirty diapers, and those poopy diapers meant that your kid was okay, they became fascinating. A day of one poop was both worrying and a victory, a day filled with poop was both worrying and disgusting. No one liked dirty diapers.

Around 7pm Brody would get home from rehearsals most days, but some days he wouldn't be home until 11pm. Whenever he got home he would take Asher for a while to have some father-son bonding time, and she got to have some real me-time where she didn't feel guilty about pawning off her kid on someone.

The morning of her finals, Santana got up bright and early to take over Asher-duty. It was the first morning in a long while where she could take a shower and get dressed, and the first time in a while she got dressed in something that wasn't ratty sweats, or baggy clothes. While her body hadn't recovered completely from birth, it was a far cry from the bloated stomach that looked like she was 6 months pregnant. She looked maybe 4 months pregnant now.

After giving her son approximately a hundred kisses she left him behind in the apartment for the first time since he was born. She rode on the train next to Kurt and Brody, but she was close to tears, and kept texting Santana to make sure she called the school if anything happened, and that she would be done with her finals by noon, and that if she had any questions she'd written a 3 page list on everything she needed to know. It was harder than she ever could've thought, leaving her infant son behind to go to school.

Though, it needed to be done.

Rachel did the best she could on the test, hoping that it was good enough. Being sleep deprived, the distraction she had while trying to study, and her brain more focused on worrying about her son wasn't a good combination for a final that determinated about 70% of her grade. It didn't matter that she had straight A's in all other assignments she'd done this semester, if she failed finals, she failed.

Back home she quickly rushed in to make sure that Asher was okay, and he was sleeping soundly in his crib while Santana was snoozing on the couch. It was strange for Rachel, after 5 weeks of her life revolving around someone else she'd had a morning that was about her, and when she got home she still had a little while just for herself. She had no idea what to do with that time.

While she waited for her son to wake up she washed her face, prepared bottles for the afternoon, changed into a clean pair of sweats, and curled up in bed to rest for a little while. What did she do before? She asked herself, but she couldn't remember. She spent a lot of time on the computer, listening to music, studying. Slept a full night.

Her peace lasted for about 30 minutes before Asher woke up, and he settled quite quickly in her arms. She propped him up on her thighs, she was leaning against the wall, and talked to him about her day, telling him about the crazy lady on the train with her crazy hat. Asher watched her with fascination, and when she made a noise he started smiling.

"Did you just smile, Asher?" she said and gasped, poking his cheek, making him smile again, this time bigger. "Yes you did!" She saw Santana move up from the couch, and after making Asher smile one more time she called out to her. "Santana, Asher just smiled!"

"He did?" Santana gushed, rushing towards Rachel. But Asher refused to smile then, only frowning at Santana.

"Only for his mommy," Rachel said with a wide smile, picking him up and kissing his forehead. "Right? Only for mommy."

"Hey, Rachel, do you have any plans for tomorrow?" Santana asked.

"No, why?" Santana shifted her eyes in confusion.

"It's your birthday, you turn 19 tomorrow."

"What? Tomorrow?" She picked up her phone that was lying next to her and saw the date. "And it's Christmas next week…" She rubbed her face. "When did this happen?"

She was lucky that she'd booked the tickets home for Christmas early. She'd booked them before Asher was even born to ensure that she would have them by then.

In the end she ended up with a quiet birthday party. Kurt and Brody made sure to get home before dinner, and they ordered sushi, Kurt had baked a cake. It was just what Rachel wanted, and the only thing she was up for. Santana got her a new shirt, and knowing that Rachel had complained about her post-pregnancy body, it was a bit more airier than the ones she wore before she got pregnant, effectively hiding her stomach. Kurt got her a necklace with hers and Asher's birthstone.

Brody waited until Kurt and Santana had taken the dishes before he took Rachel's hand and led her into their bedroom.

"I have a gift for you here," he said, pulling out a drawer and taking out a small box. "I'm not going to propose," he said, holding his hands up. She nodded, but was still holding her breath, because the size and shape of the box was exactly like one for a ring. "Come here." He took her hand again and sat her down on the bed next to him. He opened the box and revealed a silver band ring with a small heart shaped diamond in it. "This ring is me committing to you, asking you to be my girlfriend, exclusively, and me doing whatever it takes for us to stay together for our son, and for us… I love you, Rachel Berry, and I want to be with you."

She attacked him with kisses.

Returning to Lima for Christmas was strange to her. The last time she was here she was pregnant, and so completely unaware of what she had gotten herself into. Now it was almost 6 months later, and she was a mother. Asher was completely in awe with all of the Christmas lightning, and was easily content with lying next to the Christmas tree staring up at all of the lights.

Brody came to Lima a little later than Rachel and Asher, he'd decided after Asher's birth that he was spending Christmas with them, and ended up on a flight coming into Lima in the very early morning of the 24th instead of the 22nd when Rachel arrived.

As far as Christmases it was a calm Christmas where everyone in the Berry family were soaking up their dose of Asher, letting Rachel rest a little bit. But she quickly realized that even if someone else was holding Asher she was still keeping a very close eye on him. She didn't like letting go of him, at all.

"What middle name did this little guy get then?" Hiram asked when they'd eaten their Christmas eve lunch.

"Ryan, after my grandfather," Brody said with a smile. "Asher Ryan Weston."

"So he didn't get Berry?" Rachel shook her head.

"No, we like some tradition, at least."

After Christmas Rachel went to meet up with everyone from Glee, as had become their tradition during holidays in Lima by now. Tina was traveling with her family, so she couldn't make it, but the rest of them were there. There was a lot of commotion over Asher at first, but once everyone started to talk about their lives at college, attention quickly started to shift from how adorable Asher was to parties, groups they'd joined, and escapades that they'd been up to. It became apparent to Rachel in that moment just how different she actually were from her former high school classmates. They were all partaking in things that Rachel had put behind her, a life that was no longer available to her.

Quinn was the one who stuck closest to Rachel, her finger being held captive by Asher. Maybe it was that Quinn herself would've had a 3½ year old daughter by now, had she not given her up for adoption, that made her a bit more interested in 6 week old Asher that was in awe with her blonde hair.

"He's beautiful, Rachel," she said, when she held him for a while. She cooed and smiled, and he returned a smile back.

"Thank you." When it came to Quinn that was as far as an acceptance as Rachel would ever get. Rachel knew that Quinn didn't like her choice, what she'd done, but she knew she would respect it.

* * *

**A/N:** And there might be one more chapter, Idk. I wrote this as a creative outlet because I just wanted to know, but it's a week later and now I've sort of gotten my head wrapped around it. Now I need to wrap my head around OUAT. Oh my god. This has not been an easy week for my fandom heart.

Might do an epilogue after this chapter. As in chapter 7 = epilogue.

My theory for what will happen in 4x15 is that if the writers want to prove that they're good writers, Rachel is pregnant and she either has an abortion or a miscarriage. I'd probably love Glee forever if they dared to do the abortion storyline, but I sincerely doubt they would. I'm really not sure what she'll do after finding out she's pregnant, but if it's a pregnancy scare. Ugh. No.

As a girl who thought she was pregnant when I was a year younger than Rachel (aka 17) I know that when you see a negative pregnancy test you breathe a sigh of relief, not a double take and an "oh shit" face. But then again, my situation was even worse than "who's the daddy". Yup, that's actually possible.


	7. Epilogue: Play

First thing first: you NEED to sign this petition against CAS. CAS will end fan fiction, gifs, it'll literally put you in jail for having a gif folder on your computer. This is serious business. If you live in the US: SIGN IT. petitions. whitehouse. gov/petition/stop-cas-copyright-alert-system/KjBZN4mV?utm_source=wh. gov&utm_medium=shorturl&utm_campaign=shorturl **REMOVE ALL SPACES, don't forget petitions is first!**

* * *

**Epilogue: Play**

Her dress was crinkled, and she was sure her makeup was messed up. She had missed the subway, and she'd hit every possible red light on her run here.

The backstage was overcrowded, people were changing, putting on makeup, getting fit into dresses. Somewhere in the distance she could make out a tantrum being thrown, but she didn't have the time to pay any mind to it.

In her hand she held a bag with makeup, and the shoes she'd been told to pick up at home. How he could've missed them she didn't know, they'd been right there. She weaved through the throngs of people, trying to spot him in the crowd, but she couldn't see him anywhere. The pianist pointed her in the right direction, and she headed over quickly.

"I'm sorry I'm late," she said as soon as she reached him, and he looked up at her with a pout on his face.

"Mommy, I don't want to anymore," he said, pulling at the green branches that adorned his head. He was dressed as a tree, a petulant tree.

"It's okay to be scared honey, but that'll go over as soon as you get up on stage," she assured him, and adjusted the brown dress he was wearing. "You just have to stand in the back, sway your arms, and then it'll be over."

"Is daddy going to be here?" he asked with his eyebrows raised up, so hopeful.

"Of course, he'd never miss his son's theatre debut!" she said with a big smile. "Uncle Kurt is here, too."

What's a… debut?"

"It's the first time you're doing something, like now, this is your first play!" she explained, pulling up the face paint she'd bought at the store earlier today, and began to paint his face brown.

"But I don't even have any lines," he protested, rolling his eyes at her.

"But you're in it, and you're what matters." She kissed his head. "Are you going to be in the play today?" He nodded shyly, pulling on his lips with his teeth.

"My face feels yucky," he said, poking where she'd just smeared some brown paint, and giggled when he saw that he'd gotten some on his finger tips.

"But you look gorgeous."

Half an hour later she was sitting in the crowd, with her camera ready in her hands, and watching the back door to see when Brody arrived. Brody's arrival was always hard to miss, because he'd always have people turn heads. At 28 he was one of the youngest dads at the school, and the most gorgeous one. Sometimes Rachel would get a little smug about that, knowing that he'd fathered one of her children, and she got a little smug knowing that people were jealous of her.

"Hey," he said as he sat down next to her, kissing her cheek quickly before turning back to the stage. "How's he doing?"

"He's a bit nervous, and didn't want to do it until he knew you'd be here," she said, eyeing him out of the corner of her eyes.  
"Yeah, they almost didn't let me go, I had to fight a bit."

"I'm really glad you came Brody." They smiled at each other. "How are you?"

"Busy, how are you?" He took her hand in his and squeezed it, knowing that she was still wearing the right he gave her 7 years ago on her finger.

"Busy, he's a really rowdy child, and school is… school," she shrugged her shoulder.

The past 7 years had been rough on all of them. The first few months things had worked pretty well, but eventually they realized that they couldn't live with a baby in a loft with a couple of friends. Asher kept everyone up, and it caused a lot of tension. Her and Brody had to move further from the city to be able to make rent, and it quickly became apparent that she couldn't keep up with NYADAs demands, and dropped out halfway through her second semester sophomore year. That fall she went back to school to become an speech language pathologist. It wasn't exactly what she wanted, but it was what she needed, and what suited her. Compared with Santana, she didn't have the chance to take time off to figure out what she wanted. She needed to do it.

Right now she was in her last semester of school for it, and was more than ready to leave school and start working. Earning her own money completely would be welcome. While Brody had no troubles with helping out a lot, and neither did her parents, she was twenty-six, and it was time for her to get on her own two feet. Luckily she already had a job waiting for her at a hospital not far from where she lived.

Her and Brody had stuck together until Asher was three years old, when they felt like they'd grown from each other, and were fighting more than they were talking. Since then they'd been able to keep a civil relationship, after the first year apart, though both of them often found themselves in each other's beds, even after they'd decided to stop for the sake of Brody. Rachel hoped that they were finding their way back to each other, because more than anything else she wanted her son to have two parents in his life, like she'd had.

After a few minutes Kurt arrived, causing a few people to do a couple of double takes. Three years prior he'd had big a breakthrough on Broadway, and had since appeared on quite a few talk-shows, and was a guest judge on a televised talent show since a few months back. He'd made it big, and it would be a lie to say that Rachel wasn't jealous. It was what caused a rift in her relationship with Brody, when he started becoming somewhat successful, and it caused a strain on her relationship with Kurt, too. It hurt, quite a bit, knowing what success she might've had, but it was too late to go back.

When Asher came on stage she pulled her camera up and started recording. He looked scared to death, and the smile he managed in their direction looked more like a grimace. Before anyone could do anything about his panic stricken face, he'd already thrown up all over himself, and the shoes of the girl in front of him, who started to cry.

It was needless to say that Asher hadn't inherited any of his parents' stage dreams. Rachel thought she was okay with that, no she was actually quite relieved. She didn't think she could handle it if her son had those dreams and didn't make it. It would hurt too much.

So after cleaning him up, and giving him his change of clothes, Brody drove all of them to an ice cream bar where they gorged themselves on ice cream, and Rachel told Asher the story about how she forgot how to sing when she was doing an audition before he was born, to make him feel a bit better. Asher thought it was silly, because how could someone forget how to sing?

"Daddy?" he asked when they walked out of the ice cream bar.

"Yes, Ash?" He stroked his son's hair fondly.

"Are you going to stay over tonight again?" The look on his face was pure innocence, but Kurt chocked on his own saliva, and Rachel and Brody blushed scarlet.

"I don't know buddy, do you want me to?" Brody tried to appear as if nothing was wrong, but his voice was strained.

"Sure, but don't let mommy make those funny noises again, okay?" Kurt couldn't keep the laugh that escaped from his throat, and Rachel thought she would die from embarrassment.

"That's a deal, I'll make her keep quiet." Brody said with a wink.

"Oh my god Brody!" she exclaimed. "I can't believe you said that to your son!"

Then Rachel was furious, but that night she wasn't.

She wasn't furious when 6 months later Brody moved into her apartment. She wasn't furious when she three years later married Brody. She wasn't furious when Brody, for her 30th birthday, got her an audition on Broadway. She wasn't furious when she got her Broadway debut.

She wasn't furious when three days after Asher's 14th birthday she discovered she was pregnant again. She wasn't furious when she gave birth to her daughter.

She wasn't furious, not at all. Because things had a way of working itself out.

20 years after dropping out of NYADA she wins a Tony, she thanks Brody, she thanks Kurt, she thanks her dads, she thanks Shelby, she thanks her son Asher and she thanks her daughter Gabriella, she thanks Glee club, and Carmen Tibideaux.

It works out, in the end.

* * *

Well, I hope you think this is okay? I wanted it to work out for Rachel in the end, but I didn't want it to be waaayyy to unrealistic.

Oh, and one last thing that I want to say is: watch "Now Is Good", but FIRST read the book it's based on "Before I Die". I can assure you that you will be sobbing. I cried through the last 150 or 200 pages of the book (sobbed through the last 50), and I cried from 30 min into the film, and an hour into it I was a goner... Oh my god that book/film. Uhhhhh

I guess that's all. Only about a week left until we find out what the Glee writers have in store for Rachel :)


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